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Tonight wasn’t going to be pleasant by any standards. If I could save Charlie from having to go with me, get away from the charred view of his cottage, it was probably for the best.
“You’re sure?” I asked Kicks, afraid he’d just put them up to this for Charlie’s sake.
“Positive.”
I almost believed it to be true. The older male shifters didn’t seem to mind having the younger kids around. No, the way they smiled and laughed with Charlie was way too genuine, not as if they were making the best of babysitting duty.
“You’ll bring him back in the morning, though, right?”
Charlie jumped up and down.
Kicks walked in and knelt beside me where I’d gone back to rifling through the bag. “Yes—unless you want to come with me now? I’ve got a suite waiting for you.”
I kept my eyes on the bag, trying not to focus on how close he was or how good he smelled.
“No. I’m fine here, at least for now.” I’d take it day by day going forward.
“Don’t mistake standing your ground for standing on quicksand to make a point to people who don’t matter.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything that would encourage more talk about it. There was nothing to say. I might be smack dab in the middle of quicksand, but I was making a last stand, no matter how unstable the ground under me was.
“What’s that mean?” Charlie asked.
“Nothing. Kicks likes to say silly things.”
I walked into the roast, wishing I’d taken a shot of something strong before I left. With all the looks coming my way, holding my head up was a little harder than anticipated.
Groza turned to me, and there was a flash of surprise on her expression as our gazes locked across the clearing. In that split second, her guard dropped and there was nothing more obvious than the burning hate that was eating her up. It showed in her eyes, the line of her mouth, the tense grip on her mug. When she looked at me, all she thought of was killing me. One way or another, she was going to do it. It might not have worked the last two times, but there would be more attacks, and they’d keep coming until I was dead.
Any attempt at rationalizing that she’d only sent out her goons to scare me, or that Blanca wasn’treallytrying to poison me, was smashed to smithereens in that second. I’d known she hated me, but that was the look of someone who didn’t just want me dead out of convenience—she wanted me tortured before I went.
She turned from me, getting herself under control, but not before her eyes shot to a spot over my shoulder.
I turned to see Kicks walking over to join me. He smiled his charming smile, the one that could melt all the ladies, but there was a coldness in his gaze as he scanned the crowd.
I resented the gush of relief that coursed through me, which battled with my need to stand on my own.
“What are you doing here? Where’s Charlie?”
“Charlie’s having a good time with the guys, but I thought I would be more useful here.” He stopped beside me with a finality that gave me the sense he wouldn’t be mingling much.
I didn’t bother protesting. I didn’t have the luxury of chasing away the only friendly face I could see. Even the parts of the pack that wanted me there were still looking at me like they didn’tknow how could I be so careless, so reckless. I could see the thoughts, the condemnations:Just another human, after all.
Kicks’ hand was at my back, the tension almost pulsing through, as he leaned toward me. “I’m trying to wrap my head around this situation, and why you’re allowing it to continue when it could have dire consequences, which today has proven. Yet here you are.”
I wanted to argue the point, tell him how wrong he was or at least deny it, but how could I? Not when Groza was there, staring as she was. She’d burned down the cottage I was living in, and no one had eventriedto back me up when I said it wasn’t my fault. The situation was untenable, but what did I do? Some of these people relied on me. Panicked when I wasn’t here. Charlie had just settled in again. How did I pull him from here, his friends, the little stability he had?
“I…” I shook my head, knowing none of that was going to sound logical after the last turn of events.
Kicks wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling us away from the curious eyes and behind the nearest building. To everyone watching, it looked as if we were sneaking away to mess around. That would’ve been so much easier than the truth. We were about to have it out, and I had no answers for him.
“This can’t continue,” he said.
He was right, everything he said was the truth, but making a break wasn’t as easy as he wanted it to be. How many places would I drag Charlie away from? How much upheaval could he sustain before I scarred him for life? “I’ll know when it’s time.”
“Anything short of now makes me doubt your judgment. I can’t be here every minute, and shewillkill you.”
“I’m not asking you to babysit me. This isn’t your problem.” I moved to walk around him, having no other argument.
