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“In one of the guest houses,” Zach says.
“I wonder for how long,” I say with a laugh that has Zach rolling his eyes.
“That’s none of your business,” Zach says before looking over my appearance. “And don’t you think you’re a bit too old to be wearing ripped jeans?”
My fingers rub against my thighs. “I need the air flow the rips give. You’re well aware I’ve always run pretty damn hot,” I say with a wink.
“Come on, Blaze. It’s definitely time to grow up,” Zach says, obviously losing patience with the banter.
“Better be careful, Zach, you’re getting upset, which will mess up your pretty appearance.” I laugh. “Damn, I think a hair might even be out of place,” I dramatically add as I run my fingers through my mussed tresses, which are about an inch past the point of desperately needing a haircut. I might not want to be as clean-cut as my brother, but I also don’t enjoy long hair. It gets in my face and drives me crazy. I’m not going to admit this, though.
“Dammit, Blaze. You’re here for a serious reason. This isn’t the time to be irresponsible or reckless. It’s time to have a bit of respect for the passing of our grandfather.”
My smirk’s instantly wiped away. “I might not have been a suck-up like you were our entire lives, but I’m not happy he’s gone,” I tell him. Oddly, I feel a lot more remorse that I didn’t come back to visit.
“Just because I loved our grandfather doesn’t make me a puppet,” Zach tells me. “That job’s reserved for Callan.”
“You and Callan have always followed the rules, even if it didn’t make you happy. I think you’re upset with me because I dared to do what I love instead of allowing a corrupt world to lock me down.”
“Believe me, I love my life,” Zach says.
“Prove it then. Take off the tie, mess up your hair, and let yourself go. I’ll take you on the adventure of a lifetime.”
I want my brother to tell me yes. I have to admit, if only to myself, that I envy Zach the slightest bit. There are times I feel the smallest twinge of jealousy that Zach has roots, friends, and a real life. I’m a nomad, living for the moment. It’s the life I chose for myself, but being back in our childhood home almost makes me want to stay.
This is more terrifying than anything else I can feel right now. I enjoy my life, love being in one country one day and anotherthe next. Why would I give up this freedom? Certainly not to put on a suit and contribute to the all-American dream.
“I’m happy with my life and I have nothing to prove, Blaze,” Zach tells me. “Besides, your adventures always end up with me in a cast.” My brother smiles after saying this as a slew of memories flash through my mind of some of the crazy things I did with my siblings when we were younger.
Life was so much simpler then. We were always competitive, but it didn’t get out of hand. We all had our strengths... and if I’m being completely honest with myself... our weaknesses. I’m not going to confess to this out loud.
“Well, you got me here, so when’s the funeral?” The sooner we get this over, the quicker I can get back on the road.
“Gramps didn’t want a funeral,” Zach tells me with a sigh.
“I didn’t need to come back then,” I shoot back.
Zach sighs. I feel guilty. I might be able to harden my heart somewhat, but Ihadloved our grandfather, even if I didn’t always agree with the old man, or my brothers, for that matter.
I look at Zach and ask the question I haven’t wanted to ask. “What did he die of?”
“He had cancer for quite some time.”
“Why didn’t he tell us he was sick?” I ask, letting down my guard.
“He should have. I’ll be angry with him for a very long time for not letting us be here with him,” Zach admits.
“Yeah, I’m a bit ticked about it.” Before he can say anything, we hear footsteps. We both turn to see Callan step into the room. He looks at both of us and laughs.
“I see you two are off to a good start,” he says.
I let out a sigh. Why in the hell is this so hard? There was a time it was always easy with us. Why do we have to let life get in the way? I don’t know if I’ll ever know the answer.
“We’re just visiting,” I say.
“Yep, the tension is thick enough to cut with a knife.” I’m aware we haven’t all been in the same room together in years, but there are no hugs, no great-to-see-yous. I want to fix this, but I’m not sure how. When you let too much time go by, it’s so much easier to be distant.
“Let’s move into the office. I found something I think you guys will want to see,” Zach says. There’s a glint in his eyes that shocks me.
