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“Cor! Say you’ll come,” Jenny demands again. She’s still smiling, but that tone of voice she’s using says she means business.
“Maybe,” I compromise. Jenny claps again. In her eyes, this means a definite yes.
“Don’t you pack a thing. I’ll take care of it all. Well, you can pack deodorant and toothpaste. I’ve got all of the clothes,lotions, and accessories. I know exactly what I want you to wear.”
A shudder runs through me. I’m sure my sister’s idea of appropriate clothes differs greatly from mine. But even thinking this, excitement stirs through me. Why not let her be in charge for a while. I’m obviously not so good at running my own life. It might be wise to let my sister take over. She’s happy all of the time. I can’t say the same for myself.
“Are they paying for a second person?”
She laughs again. “Of course they are. They can’t expect me to go alone, can they?” She waves her hand.
“You might have the greatest job in the world.”
“Seriously, it’s the best.” She then goes on to tell me all about the resort. I listen with half an ear, nodding along at the right moments. Her enthusiasm’s infectious, but my mind’s elsewhere. I’m back to thinking about Blaze and a very uncertain future with him.
Jenny continues to gush about the upcoming trip I’m likely going on and I steal a glance at Rich watching us with humor. He knows when Jenny gets on a roll, nobody’s going to get a word in edgewise. Despite the three of us having different personalities, we’ve always shared a bond that’s unbreakable. Our eyes meet and his fill with concern. This is why he’s always been the rock for both Jenny and me.
“What’s going through your head right now, Cor?” he softly asks, making Jenny stop her chattering as she looks at me, concern entering her expression.
I hesitate, unsure how to put my jumbled thoughts into words. I need to talk to them. I need to sort through my worries. “I’m scared,” I admit.
They both sit up a bit more. “About what?” Rich looks as if he’s ready to jump up and start punching without knowing where the enemy lies.
“I think I might be... well, I think I’m in love with Blaze all over again.”
Rich looks confused. Jenny starts smiling again. “This is a bad thing?” he questions.
I let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of my uncertainty press down on me. “It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. It’s happened. But the last time I let myself believe we’d work out, he left. He’s always running to a new adventure, and this time I’m afraid he’s going to take a huge chunk of my heart with him. It was young love before. Now, it’s so much more.”
“Has he said he’s leaving?” Jenny asks, her voice a lot more subdued. She can’t even imagine someone leaving me. I love her even more for this.
I think about her words for a moment. “From the beginning we knew this was an adventure that would conclude. But he keeps making comments like he’s not going anywhere, so I’m not sure.”
“Maybe he’s just as scared as you are. Maybe you should be honest with him,” Jenny suggests.
“I have to agree with the squirt,” Rich says.
I shake my head, feeling tears stinging my eyes. “What if he’s incapable of staying? What if my heart never heals?”
My siblings are in shock at my words. I’ve never been this open about my feelings. I carry them close to my heart and rarely let the world see how vulnerable I am. They both sit in silence for a moment, trying to figure out what to say.
Finally Rich stands and moves to the couch to sit on the other side of me. He pulls me against him for a hug, then leans back again. “You can’t let fear dictate your happiness. Sometimes you have to be willing to fall in order to reach the tallest heights.”
I bury my face against his solid chest, his familiar scent soothing my fragile nerves. Surrounded by the love and support of my amazing siblings, I feel like I can take a chance. Even if Isuffer heartbreak, they’ll be here for me. I won’t have to face this alone unless I choose to.
“Maybe I will take a chance.” Jenny wraps her arms around my back as we have a group hug. When we pull away the tears are gone.
“Thank you, guys. I’m glad you came. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I promise to never let it happen again.”
They beam at me. “Good deal. We’re family, we have to stick together,” Jenny says.
“I agree,” I tell her.
As the afternoon sun dips below the horizon, casting a warm glow into the cabin, I make a vow to myself. I’m going to take a chance on love even if it leads to utter heartbreak. I can do this because no matter what happens, I always have my family to fall back on. They are more than willing to help carry the load of my burdens, and I’m just as willing to do the same for them.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Blaze
