Page 60 of Beauty and Kaos


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The sun warms my exposed skin, and I shut my eyes tighter against the blinding light. I vaguely register the call of my name, soft against the pounding of my heart in my head. I reach across the bed, my hand groping through the blankets as I search for her, but the bed is empty. I squint into the light, glancing around for her.

I’m alone.

“Zaden?”

Not alone. I sit up, running a hand through my hair and pulling the blanket around my waist as a man crosses the deck toward me.

“Joe?” I ask, rubbing at the pounding in my temples. “Why are you on my boat?” Joe owns the sailboat moored beside me, and visits once a month or so from Illinois with his wife. He pulls off his cap and scratches his balding head.

“Sorry man, long night?” He surveys the scene and smiles.

I shake my head. “Do you need something?”

“The police called me. I’m waiting for them to get here.” He jerks his thumb toward the sailboat.

I squint into the light to see his face. “Why?”

“They found my jetski floating about a mile offshore, nearly to Fairhaven. I figured it just came untied, but they told me the keys were in it, and it was almost out of gas. It wasn’t like that when I left it.” He pauses, glancing over at the parking lot, and shrugs. “You haven’t seen anything the last few nights, have you?”

“Nope,” I answer honestly. If it didn’t have purple hair and long legs, I haven’t seen it at all.

“Alright, just figured I’d come over and ask when I saw you up here. How have you been? Staying busy? The boat is looking good. I noticed the new deck paint from the parking lot. Big improvement.”

I nod. “Yeah, she’s getting close. You and Maria going over to the island for the weekend?”

“We’re thinking about it, whenever we’re done dealing with this shit. Hopefully, it won’t take too long.”

I wrap the blanket tighter around my waist, and stand. “Good luck. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help,” I offer, glancing down the dock toward the motel, wondering if Ivy went home.

Joe thanks me, and turns to walk back across the deck to the stairs. “Your girlfriend left about an hour ago,” he says, and my head jerks in his direction.

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw a girl leaving. Purple hair? Headed for the Sunrise.”

My eyes narrow. “Okay. Thanks, Joe.”

After all that, she just left? Not even a goodbye? Does she regret it? Did it mean nothing to her? I follow Joe’s descent at a distance, then duck into the cabin of the boat. Her shoes are gone. Her clothes. One of my t-shirts apparently, judging by the empty hanger on the nightstand. Candles sit around the room, long extinguished, as physical proof that last night did actually happen, and it wasn’t some figment of my drugged-out imagination.

Tossing back a few ibuprofen, I shower and dress. I slide on sunglasses when I step outside because fuck it’s bright, and walk down the dock toward the Sunrise. The wind whips across the pool deck as I climb the cement stairs, pausing at her doorway. I’ve been staring at this room from the marina all week, hoping for a moment to see her. Then I finally got my hands on her, and let her go…

I knock and wait, but there’s no movement. No sound. She’s not here. I walk back down the stairs and over to the Sandbar. Opening the door, I glance around inside the dining room, then step through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

“Zaden’s here,” Katina announces immediately, sliding small plastic containers of cut vegetables into her line cooler. Then stops. “Why is Zaden here? You don’t work until tonight.”

“I’m not here,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m just looking for Ivy.”

“Also not here,” Katrina adds. “She was in earlier and swapped shifts with Mia. She works tonight.”

I nod. “Did she say where she was going?”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t sign off on her travel itinerary if that’s what you’re asking.” She pauses, narrowing her eyes atme. “Something happened between you two.” She raises an eyebrow. “You guys fucked.”

I roll my eyes.

“Oh man, that’s it. Fell into bed with her after Bass and Lace, and woke up alone. How does it feel over there on that side of the equation? New sensation for you?”

“I really don’t know why I talk to you,” I admit, glancing over as Chris steps out of the walk-in cooler. “Hey, welcome back,” I shout, and he gives me a half smile.

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