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I shake my head, burying my face against his neck. “No, it’s not real,” I mumble. “Can’t be real.”
“You’re safe,” Diesel whispers. “I’m here, Cassidy. I’m real.” As if his words alone could banish the horrors of this nightmare.
But I keep my eyes shut, letting my mind drift off to a better place, a memory of that motel room with Diesel. Just us. No worries. No pain. No fear.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Diesel
The moment I see Cassidy, relief pulses through me. Seeing her terrified, curled into a ball, makes my heart clench and ache. I scoop her in my arms, and she’s shaking like a leaf, obviously traumatized.
She’s more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen her, and I don’t know what the fuck to do what that.
“You’re not real,” she mumbles against my neck. “This isn’t real.”
“I’m real, sweetheart. I’m here, and you’re safe.” I press a kiss to the top of her head as I carry her from the house, shielding her from the dead bodies and the blood dripping down the walls. She shivers in my arms, and I hold her even tighter. “You’re safe,” I whisper again, hoping she’ll eventually believe me.
“Diesel?” She blinks and looks up at me.
She’s shivering, her clothes are torn, and she’s so weak a stiff breeze will knock her over.
“We’re going home,” I tell her, carrying her to the van at the end of the block and setting her on the seat. “You’re all right, Cass. I promise.” It’s a promise I hope like hell I can keep, but the truth is that this version of Cassidy, vulnerable and weak, is fucking with my mind.
The drive back to the clubhouse is mostly silent, aside from the sound of Cassidy sniffling and her teeth chattering. I don’t stop once we arrive at the clubhouse, carrying her back to my old room and putting her on the bed.
I stare at the broken woman before me with my hands balled into tight fists. Her arms are wrapped around her legs as she rocks back and forth gently, her teeth chattering as slow, gasping sobs escape her lush mouth. I don’t know what the fuck to do about this. I don’t know how to respond to this version of her.
“Cassidy, talk to me.”
Her eyes meet mine, but she looks at me as if she can’t see me, as if she doesn’t fucking know me. It pisses me off what they’ve done to her.
I should have found her sooner. She was at risk because of me, and they broke her. It’s all my fucking fault.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Cass.” I sit beside her on the bed and wrap my arms around her. “I looked everywhere for you. I swear I did.” I just hope that, eventually, she forgives me for all of it.
One hour passes and then another, and Cassidy still hasn’t spoken a word. She’s hardly moved from the spot in the center of the full-size bed, other than gently rocking herself in a self-soothing manner. “You’re not real,” she whispers.
“I’m real, and I have to do something really quick. Stay here. I’ll be right back,” I tell her and rush from the room, closing the door behind me because I don’t want her to wander out in her vulnerable state, and I don’t want her to hear what I have to say to my brothers.
“Diesel, how’s your girl?”
I glare at Dix, staring around the room until I find Ace.
“She can’t stay here. She’s too fucking traumatized, and she’s not gonna get better sitting in that small room alone all day.” I didn’t know what I would say until the words tumble from my mouth, but once they’re out, I know I’m right.
“Fuck that,” Shades argues. “We need her to stay here. Or better yet, send her back wherever she came from.”
I glare at this man who is my friend, my brother. This man who’s supposed to have my back. “What the fuck is your problem? She didn’t do shit to deserve this, you asshole. We owe her better than this. Whether we want to believe it or not, she’s in this position because of us.”
“Because of you, don’t you mean?”
I ignore Shades. I don’t know why he’s being an asshole, and right now, I really don’t give a shit. “I’m taking her to my place. She needs to be comfortable, and she needs to feel safe if she’s going to get through this and get back on the road.”
“If she does,” Preacher offers with a sympathetic smile.
I nod even though I don’t even want to think about the possibility that she might not return to her normal self. “Yeah, that.”
Tank drops a hand on my shoulder, his gaze full of sympathy. “Let’s have Sophie check her out first, make sure she’s okay physically.”
