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I wrap my arm around her, relishing the moment as the city transforms below us. “Anytime, Cassidy. I’ll do anything you need.”
She stays close and leans in, giving me a subtle signal. I press a kiss on her forehead and let the moment linger. Down below, the city’s all lit up, but here, it’s just Cassidy and me, and nothing can beat that.
The night’s still young, and who knows what the rest of it will bring.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Cassidy
The image of myself curled up in the corner, exposed and vulnerable, is burned into my mind. I try to shake it off, but even in a deep sleep, I know it’s not just a dream. This is a nightmare that I am destined to relive over and over again.
It’s a never-ending cycle that plays out every time I close my eyes and try to find some relief in sleep.
But this time, as I watch from above, I see myself differently. Instead of fighting back with all the strength and determination I possess, I see myself shrinking, cowering like a wounded animal.
My screams and kicks are futile against their overwhelming strength and numbers. Each of their blows lands with agonizing force, leaving bruises and cuts on my already battered body.
And finally, staring up at the last man with his familiar white-blond hair that matches his soulless eyes, I know what’s coming next.
Ghost’s large hands wrap around my throat like a vise, and I see the sickening joy ignite in his eyes as he slowly chokes the life out of me. I can feel his sickness seeping into my veins. I’m appalled by his sheer delight in causing pain and suffering. With each passing moment, the edges of my vision grow darker until he takes my last breath away.
I jackknife into a sitting position, heaving out harsh breaths and sucking down oxygen. Sweat trickles down my face and spine, and fuzzy colors blur my vision.
“Fuck,” I grunt out, frustrated and angry and embarrassed. So fucking embarrassed. I don’t want Diesel to see me like this. I hate the sympathy that looks a lot like pity in his eyes. I want to be the strong woman I was when we met.
Not this heaping mess of a woman that he had to rescue.
He wraps his big arms around me. “Cassidy, babe. It’s all right,” he whispers in my ear and pulls me against his chest. “You’re safe. I’m here.”
I hate myself for how good his touch feels, hate that there’s nowhere else I want to be these days other than in his arms, with my face or my back pressed against his chest. It’s the only time I feel safe, normal. I breathe in and out slowly, deeply. Cleansing breaths that calm my racing heart.
I don’t know how long we sit here in the middle of his bed in complete silence, nothing but the crickets outside as our soundtrack, but eventually Diesel speaks. “Want to talk about it?”
I shake my head immediately. That’s the last thing I want.
“You can talk to me about anything, Cass. I promise.”
I nod and turn to face him, even though just a few beams of moonlight illuminate the bedroom. I can see his eyes, intense and dark, his beautiful mouth set into a grim line.
“It’s not about sharing or not sharing, Diesel. I just…fuck, I don’t want to think about it. I’m not sure that I even do remember it because the dreams aren’t…” I shake my head to toss off the last memories of the most recent nightmare. “I don’t want to remember. I want to forget.”
Suddenly, forgetting is all I want to do. I don’t want to think about where I’ve been or what happened to me, not when my gaze is fully focused on Diesel and his sexy, plump lips. I lean in, pressing my lips to his in a harsh, clumsy kiss at first while I wait for him to accept or reject my silent offer.
Eventually, his lips relax, and I take over the kiss, devouring his mouth, the taste of whiskey on his tongue, swallowing down the sensual moans he lets out. One hand grips the back of my head, and the other grabs my ass, pulling me onto his lap where I can feel him, long and thick and hard against my cotton panties.
“Fuck,” he growls as he tears his mouth from mine. “Be sure, Cassidy. I want you so fucking bad, but I need you to be sure.”
My heart screeches to a halt before it kicks up triple-time at his words, the desperate tone in them. I pull back just enough to let him see the heat and desire in my eyes. I want him to know how much I want him. “I’m not sure of any fucking-thing these days, Diesel. But wanting you is the one thing I am sure about. I want this. I need this. With you.”
His gaze is hot as it rakes over my skin, hot like coals. Then his mouth crashes down on mine in a fiery kiss that steals my breath, hell it steals every single thought I have that’s not aboutthis man. His tongue plays with mine, dancing and massaging before nipping at my bottom lip.
“Mmm,” I moan into his mouth, gripping his hair with both hands so I can position him exactly how I want him, laying a claim I didn’t have a right to on his mouth. This man, in this moment, is my safe space, and I want to revel in it. I pull back, breathless and wild, nipping my way across his lips and licking down the strong column of his neck.
“You taste good,” I whisper as I kiss my way to his ear, nibbling on his earlobe. “So good.”
He’s in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs, and I scramble off his lap, suddenly in the mood to taste every inch of his hot fucking body. Diesel is built like a man, solid with muscles upon muscles. I start at his pecs and work my way down to his abs, spending a long time on that panty-melting six-pack.
I keep moving down, a frantic woman on a mission to the trail of hair that disappears into his underwear, tugging them down as I kiss and lick every inch of him.
