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It doesn’t matter how much I want to escape my family and the criminal life that surrounds them, it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to. Speaking to my dad didnotgo well, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to be able to control me forever from here on out.
“You good?” Lily asks me, but she keeps her distance from me. I want to scream at her that I don’t have anything contagious, but what’s the point?
“Yeah, I think,” I sigh.
“You sure? Because I know you were throwing up earlier on.”
I can almost feel the blood drain out of my body when she says this.
I didn’t think anyone had heard me.
Will Lily pick up on the secret I don’t want anyone to know?
“Oh, I… I wasn’t sick. Just gagging. I think my body still thinks I’m ill.”
I try to laugh, but I’m definitely not pulling it off well.
Lily frowns at me. “So, you really just got away from the guy with the gun? Then you were sick?”
“Yeah. Crazy, I know. I think the cops got him, though, so we don’t need to worry about him coming back. He’s in jail now.”
Shit, Owen really has made all of this so hard for me.
Did he know that he was leaving me behind in a massive shit show?
“Well, my night shift is over,” Lily tells me with a shrug. I can feel the iciness coming from her. She’s definitely going to be keeping her distance from me. “So I guess good luck.”
She turns her back on me and stalks out, leaving me on my own in the clinic. I’m hoping that today will be easier than the overnight shift, which is why I’ve come today.
I just want to ease myself back into things. Slowly but surely.
With a deep sigh, I settle into my chair and slide my eyes closed, trying to calm down the intense thumping that’s in my head already.
I know that I have a lot to do here—I am fully aware of that—but first I need to stop feeling so overwhelmed. It’s killing me.
I’m a strong woman, a kick ass nurse, I candothis.
Still, it takes me a little bit to gather up the strength.
The first thing I decide to do is take out the trash. Mostly because I need some fresh air.
I’m surprised by how dark it is outside. It’s still not time for the sun to rise yet. I guess my perception of time got a little skewed because of how long I’ve been out of the picture.
Being kidnapped will really do that to a person.
But I don’t think a person should miss being kidnapped.
Truth be told, my time with Owen is the most alive I have ever felt.
It’s the most likemeI have ever felt.
And now I have a permanent reminder of that time.
I cradle my stomach, wondering what will happen with my baby and me. I just have no idea right now. No one knows, and that is terrifying.
People will find out eventually, I just don’t know what to say and how to make it all right. I don’t know how to make it not messy.
I don’t know how to make any of my life not messy.
