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I’ll deal with all of that shit later on.
“Come on,” Emma says with a soft smile. “Let’s get out of here.”
My heart is heavy. I’m not ready for any of this. But I don’t have any choice.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
We head out to the car and climb in with a heavy silence hanging in the air between us.
Even as Emma sidles up closer to me while I start driving, I don’t feel the same connection brimming between us. She wants it, but I can’t make that sensation happen.
Not when my head is all over the place like this.
“It’s a nice day,” she comments, resorting to chatting about the weather.
I feel myself ice up more. “Mmm, sure.”
“I like it when it’s like this, all warm and cozy.”
“Uhuh.”
I wouldloveto be able to give her more. I really do want to make this a nice chat, but I don’t think I’m capable. It’s like there’s a thick ball of emotion lodged in the base of my throat, and I can’t get anything out.
“I think this is going to go well,” Emma continues, seemingly trying to fill every moment with silence. “I keep thinking about it, and it’s going to be okay.”
I can’t agree with her.
Again, I can’t say anything.
“People might think that my father is an unreasonable man, but I know a different side to him. I know he can be talked to.Ican talk to him. I know I can make sure he helps us.”
Help her… yes, I’m sure that’s what she can do. I don’t have any doubt that Emma can get her father to look after her.
But what he might do to me is another matter.
“Will we be there soon?” she asks, desperate to get any kind of reaction from me. “It isn’t too far away, is it?”
“Yeah, not long.” I glance at my watch. “I just need to get gas first.”
“Oh, you do?”
Yeah of course she’s going to ask that. The gas tank is pretty much full, but I need to pull off on the side of the road so I can put my new plan into action.
“Yeah, I need the bathroom too. Maybe snacks.”
“Ooh, I could go for some snacks. I might pick up some bits as well.”
“I’ll get you whatever you want. Just give me a list.”
She gives me a strange look, because I’m basically telling her not to come in the store with me, but this is important. I need to head into that shop all by myself.
“Best to keep safe, you know?” I smile, trying to play it off. “I want to protect you as much as I can.”
She frowns at me as I back away.
Emma definitely isn’t impressed, but this is how it has to be.
We’re really close to her father’s territory anyway, so I know she’ll be safe here no matter what.
