Page 8 of It Kills Me


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I stood there, the laptop tucked under my arm.

It was clear he wanted to get back to work, but he didn’t want to be rude and ignore me. “Is there something else?”

I wanted to fire off my grievances right there, but I could tell he had more pressing matters on his mind. “Can we have dinner tonight?”

His eyes always lit up at the prospect of spending time with me, something I never took for granted because I knew others weren’t so lucky. He was the greatest father in the world, always putting me first, even when I was a grown adult living on my own. “I’d love to. I’ll pick you up at six thirty.”

“Great. See you then.”

I got into the back seat beside my father, and his driver took us to the restaurant a few blocks away. We were dropped off at the front, and my father’s men remained behind us, trying to blend in even though they didn’t look like patrons of the restaurant.

We were taken to a two-person table, while they sat together at a table for four, their guns and knives hidden underneath their jackets.

He pulled out the chair for me and sat across from me. “I was so busy today, I forgot to eat.” He looked at the menu. “I’m starving.”

I took a quick glance at it even though I already knew what I wanted.

“Getting the gnocchi?” he asked.

“You know me so well.”

The waitress came over, making eyes at my father, and then took down the order he gave for both of us. He ordered the wine too, making all the decisions in a nanosecond as always.

The wine was uncorked, and the bread was brought to the table.

I dug into the warm bread and ripped off a piece to dab in the olive oil.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“Good.” I swallowed the piece. “Yours?”

His eyes shifted back and forth between mine, like he picked up on my tone. “Something on your mind?”

I wiped my fingers on the linen in my lap before I looked at him. “Do you like Ryan?”

He stilled at the question, his eyes narrowing.

I waited for him to speak.

He took his time in responding, choosing between a lie and the truth.

I gave him the easy way out. “Because Axel tells me you don’t.”

He remained quiet.

“Which is news to me…”

He was a man of few words, always thinking carefully before he put his words out into the universe. He did the same thing now, rehearsing his approach before he spoke. “Sweetheart, it’s complicated.”

“We tell each other everything. It’s not complicated.”

“I’m not sure why Axel told you that.” Accusation was in his eyes.

Some strange part of me wanted to protect Axel. I had no idea why. “We were talking about relationships, and it accidentally slipped out. He was under the impression I already knew how you felt.”

The clouds in his eyes slowly passed. “Casting judgment on the man you’re interested in puts me in a precarious position. I have a lot more to lose in the situation than you do.”

“How so?”

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