Page 85 of It Kills Me


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I felt a smile pull at my lips as the color burned into my cheeks. “A little inappropriate.”

“Pretty, that’s tame compared to the other thoughts I’ve had.” His smirk was gone, and now he was serious, his eyes hardened in that intense expression he wore right before he kissed me and pinned me to the bed. The stare continued endlessly, the potency just as strong at the end as the beginning.

I cleared my throat and looked at the menu.

“What looks good?”

“I usually get the gnocchi. But the lasagna looks good.” Axel spoiled me with food all the time, bringing me pizza and having his butler prepare a four-course meal for breakfast. I had to watch my waistline, but I couldn’t turn down pasta. “I guess the lasagna.”

When the waiter returned, Axel ordered for us both. “My lady will have lasagna. I’ll have the Florentine steak.” He handed over both of the menus.

Then it was just the two of us again, looking at each other over the candlelight. Axel looked handsome, his jaw freshly shaven, his dirty-blond hair combed back. There were shadows under his jawline from the candle, giving him a more rugged look.

“I have a question.”

He cocked his head slightly, inviting me to speak.

“Why didn’t you make a move that night when Ryan broke up with me?”

“I told you why. I’m not a rebound.”

“Even if I’d slept with you, you wouldn’t have been a rebound and you know that.”

He stared at me.

“The chemistry was always there between us. The desire was always there. I just…needed a reason. A reason to go against my father’s wishes. A reason to break the rules.”

“You were upset that night,” he said. “I respect you too much to take advantage of you. And the last thing I ever want to be is a regret. It could ruin a potential future. As enticed as I was, I didn’t want to risk the long-term payout for a short-term gamble.”

I stared at the candle between us. “You make it sound like you’ve always wanted something long-term.”

“Because I have,” he said. “Look at you. You think a one-night stand would be enough?” He shook his head. “I knew the first time would be a hit, and then I’d need another hit, and then another. Now I’m a full-blown addict.”

My eyes lifted to meet his. “Well, looks like you’re getting laid tonight.”

He smirked. “They haven’t even brought us bread yet.”

“I guess we can just go, then.”

He stared at me for a while, continued his stare even when he took a drink of the wine. “It’ll be worth the wait.” His hard stare remained on me, like the glow on my face from the candle was as enticing to him as his appearance was to me.

Relationships had come and gone, but none of them had substance like this one did…and it wasn’t even a relationship. “You’re nothing like I thought you would be.”

He cocked his head slightly, pressing for more information.

“I assumed I would just be a challenge, and once you defeated that challenge, you would be on your merry way.”

He continued to say nothing.

“But you’re sweet.”

“How does that saying go?” he asked quietly. “Never judge a book by its cover.”

“I guess so.”

“Now that you know who I am, would you have dumped Ryan sooner?—”

“Yes.” That relationship lacked this intensity. It lacked joy too. Now that I knew how a relationship could really feel, I wasn’t sure why I’d stayed with Ryan as long as I had.

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