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There was no recourse but to tell him the whole story of our bonding, which I did as quickly as I could, not hiding anything or glossing over my part in it.
“The prince was entirely blameless, Your Highness. I take full responsibility.”
“Hmm, very noble of you, but it seems to me the bonding was entirely accidental for both of you. No one’s fault, in other words, so no blame can be attached. I’m sure my grandparents will agree when they find out.”
I got to my feet in a hurry, surprising both of us. “Your Highness, I-I don’t think there’s any need to tell them about it. Rakkur doesn’t seem that affected by this—he’s mostly human, after all, so mostly unbothered. I plan on leaving the king’s service as soon as the king will allow it. I’ll go back to Precept 3 or somewhere far away from him. I can control this. I just have to get some distance between us.”
“Oh? You think you can control it? That’s unfortunately contrary to the report I received from the ship’s captain. He told me about an incident in the corridor outside Rakkur’s room, when everyone thought he must have been sealed inside. When Rakkur suddenly appeared in the corridor and was threatened by the others, you fully transformed to protect him, Tariq. As I or any other bonded mate would have done.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “It was an extreme circumstance. I-I thought he’d been killed at first, or perhaps trapped inside with only seconds to survive. Then he appeared when everyone’s emotions were high…it was dangerous for him.”
“You thought he was dead at first.”
I couldn’t help the slight shudder that went through me. “Yes, we all did. The door sealed automatically.”
“And you wanted to die along with him.”
I nodded in agreement, not looking directly at him. What else could I do? The truth of it was obvious.
“Then please tell me why you’re allowing him to meet the king of Myr with an eye to possible marriage.”
“Allowing him? He’s not mine to give orders to. Believe me, he’s his own boss in every way.”
“Of course, he is. So is Kalen. But we have a bond that’s probably similar to yours with Rakkur, and I know he feels it strongly too, even though he’s not Tygerian. Maybe not in the same way as you or I feel it, but he does respond to it. I think you’re hurting Rakkur with your attitude toward him, no matter how honorably it’s intended. He has no business meeting anyone else while he has feelings for you.”
“I-I wish I could stop it. Of course, I do. But Your Highness, you know why I can’t try to claim him. Why I shouldn’t be anywhere near him.”
“Is it because of what happened with your fathers?”
I never knew exactly how to reply when someone brought up my fathers. My feelings about them both were too chaotic, too turbulent and passionate. It was better never to speak of them in any meaningful way.
“You know the story, Your Highness. Would you have mated someone like your husband if you’d had a father like mine?”
“Your father was posthumously absolved by the courts of any intent.”
“I never absolved him,” I cried, and had to clench my hands to try and get control again. The prince laid his hand over mine.
“I’m sorry, Tariq. I can see your feelings about it are still very raw.”
“It’s difficult to talk about.”
“And I can understand that. But surely you don’t think you inherited anything. There’s nothing we know to indicate that a bad temper is hereditary.”
“And nothing to say it isn’t. My omak took drugs to suppress his own DNA, just like yours did. So, I’m very much the product of my Tygerian father. I’ve already had indications of it. Look what happened onboard the ship. I fully transformed and stalked Rakkur. It was only sheer good luck that I didn’t attack him and kill him.”
“I don’t think luck had anything to do with it. You didn’t attack him because he’s your mate. Your tyger recognized that and protected him. It’s a different situation than your father’s. You literally may have saved Rakkur’s life.”
“After threatening it in the first place. I’m sorry, Your Highness, I don’t mean to argue with you, but I have strong feelings about this. Prince Rakkur’s happiness is important to me, and I don’t believe I can make him happy in the long run.”
Mikol stood up then, looking down at his communicator that had been buzzing for a while now. “My council has been sending me messages. I’m afraid I’ll be late for a meeting if I don’t leave, but I’d like to continue our talk later. Please, Colonel, get some rest. I’ll see you at dinner tonight. And maybe you should consider talking to Rakkur a bit more before you decide to do—or not do—something that could ruin your life along with his.”
He left then, with his guards following, and two of them stayed behind to take me to my own room, before bowing and leaving me on my own. I felt completely drained and worn out all of a sudden and sat down in one of the chairs by the window to gaze out at the courtyard below.
Some of the Lorian royal guards were marching below me and I watched them for a while, letting my mind drift and touching the subject in my mind like a sore tooth. My fathers were something I never spoke about and with good reason. I tried to avoid thinking of them at all.
Talking to Rakkur about them would mean having to think about them both. I wasn’t sure I could stand to do that. Even the idea was painful. I put my head back on the chair and closed my eyes, keeping the images in my mind carefully about only the guards in their bright uniforms, marching in the courtyard, the sun bouncing off their golden epaulets.
That’s when my communicator buzzed insistently in my pocket and I pulled it out, thinking it might be Rakkur. It wasn’t, but the name that came up on my screen shocked me and had me straightening up immediately in my chair.
