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“I think you’ll find him so. As far as looks go, I confess that I judge men by the way my Tygerian looks now, and most men of my acquaintance don’t quite measure up to that high standard. Your Tariq does, though. Both are extremely handsome men.”
“I agree, but he’s not my Tariq.”
“Isn’t he?”
I glanced over at him, and he smiled. “He watches you all the time, you know.”
“To catch me doing something wrong. No, we haven’t exactly hit it off. I’m sure he can’t wait to get rid of me and go on to his new duty station. As soon as my omak arrives, he’ll be out of here and not breathing down my neck every minute, and good riddance too. I find him to be an insufferable, arrogant man.”
We both heard someone clear his throat behind us, and I whirled around to see Tariq standing framed in the doorway, because of course he was. I could always count on him to be somewhere inconvenient and anywhere I didn’t need him to be.
My face flaming, I turned quickly around again, unable to meet his gaze. I was mortified, but thank the gods for Kalen, who spoke to him as calmly and innocently as if I hadn’t just been saying terrible things about him.
“Good afternoon, Colonel. Can we help you with something?”
“I came to tell Prince Rakkur that I won’t be attending the reception tonight. The new commander of the Imperials has requested my attendance at a banquet in another part of the palace, and Prince Mikol said he’d find some royal guards to take my place.”
“All right,” I said in a tight voice, still not looking at him. “Thank you for coming to tell me.”
“Of course, Your Highness.” I heard the door close behind him and I sank down in the bed, covering my face with both hands.
“Oh gods…has he gone yet?”
Kalen laughed softly. “Yes, he’s gone.”
“Damn it,” I said, and I wasn’t sure my knees would hold me up if I stood. “I couldn’t even look at him.”
“Maybe he didn’t hear.”
“Oh, he heard. He skulks around and listens to everything I say.”
“Well, if you really dislike him so much, then why do you care? It’s good that he knows how you feel, isn’t it?”
I just groaned in reply, my head still in my hands. I couldn’t tell Kalen how I really felt— that I cared plenty. Way too much, in fact, and it was tearing me up inside.
But then maybe he knew because he smiled gently at me. “Get ready, because the guards will be here soon to escort you to the reception. I’ve got to go and find Mikol and finish getting dressed—I’ll see you downstairs later.”
I nodded, but my heart was no longer in this thing. I’d actually said—pretty much to Tariq’s face—that it would be good riddance when he left, and that he was insufferable. And arrogant. And he’d heard every word; I had no doubt of that. I closed my eyes as a slight headache started up behind my eyes. I needed to apologize to him. He hadn’t deserved what I’d said, and it had been pure spite and vindictiveness on my part. But why? Because he was still in love with his dead husband? Because he wanted me to stop throwing myself at him? Or because he didn’t love me the way I wanted him to? Surely, I couldn’t be that petty. That small.
I feared I was.
Consoling myself with the idea that I’d apologize to him and actually try to mean it this time when I saw him again, I started to brush my hair and get dressed. I had a king I needed to impress, because the gods knew I had blown it with the love of my life.
****
Tariq
I arrived at the king’s reception almost at the end of it. Earlier in the evening, I’d attended a banquet given by the Imperial commandant on Loros to welcome the new Imperial guards who had just arrived. And I’d renewed my acquaintance with some of the other Imperials I’d be serving with when I left to go to the southern border later that week, where the new fortress was being built and nearing completion. That would be after the Royal Consort arrived.
My attendance at the reception had been excused, so I wasn’t needed in any way, but I still wanted to get a look at this King Edam. If I was honest, I wanted to gauge Rakkur’s interest in the man, and I was anxious to see them together. I didn’t examine my motives all that much.
I saw the other guards standing near the back of the room right away and went over to speak to them. There was a mixture of Lorian and Tygerian men sitting at one of the tables there, so I nodded to the Lorians and went over to sit next to a Tygerian royal guard that I knew fairly well.
After we exchanged greetings, I nodded to where the prince was sitting, next to a tall, dark-haired man of not yet middle age. The man was wearing a silver circlet on his head, so I assumed he was the king. He was handsome enough, I guess, if you liked that type.
He was paying close attention to Rakkur and every word that came from his mouth. As for Rakkur, he was animated and smiling. His cheeks were flushed bright pink, and I wondered what he’d been drinking and if he’d had too much of whatever it was.
I was drawn to him like iron filings to a magnet, so I excused myself and began to move across the room to be closer to him. Prince Mikol saw me as I came and waved me to a chair beside him at the table.
