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“I’ll make his kids fatherless.”
Nodding at my answer, Ruin is ready to jump on every little threat now. Taking chances is no longer an option.
“We’re going to rush this thing,” Ruin explains as we admire the land. “Get architects started with designs. Figure out what needs to happen. I’ll push through permits, even if I need to sweet talk every nerd in city planning.”
Armor nods. “Once we have housing, we’ll start scouting people.’
As we look over the area, Ruin gets a text from Selene. He chuckles at whatever she tells him. A few minutes later, just before we leave, he gets another text. This one inspires no laughter.
“Kendra and a few other skanks are starting shit at McMurdo Gorge Dining,” he says and throws his leg over his bike. “In case Wynonna can’t handle them, let’s ride over so Goose can punch the bitches.”
“Finally,” Goose mutters as if she’s gone too long without violence instead of nearly dying twice in the last month.
We race through McMurdo Valley to the town’s premiere restaurant, where we find the battle over.
“Our heroes!” Wynonna calls out as we enter the restaurant to find the women seated around a long table.
Grabbing a spare chair, I settle next to Austen who smiles excitedly at me. Her blue eyes glow despite a faint mark across her cheek. My woman looks so beautifully comfortable in her surroundings.
“I punched a bitch,” Austen says and shows off her battered knuckles. “And I almost got beat up, but Xenia saved me.”
Farther down the table, Hobo gives an impressed grin to his woman who shows off her bruised knuckles.
As I kiss Austen, my club family settles in with their women. Goose wraps her arm around Coco’s shoulders and whispers in her ear. They look relaxed together in a way I hope sticks.
Since Tomcat has no chick to slobber over, he takes a seat between Callie and Wynonna. His cousin proceeds to give a play-by-play of the earlier fight.
Austen’s gaze follows mine as I admire everyone’s happy faces. The club embraces our new phase. We’ve had power and money for decades. A few members have had kids, yet love eluded every damn one of us.
Now, the majority of the Steel Berserkers Motorcycle Club have their hearts locked down tight.
AUSTEN’S EPILOGUE
Urick holds on for nearly two months. I visit him every day. At first, I’m afraid to travel to Canary Basin alone. Eventually, I’m more confident, yet he still joins me of paranoia about Peter. Each visit is easier for me emotionally. I’m both catching up and telling my dad goodbye.
The days when Urick has forgotten I’ve returned to his life are the most difficult. He cries and begs me to forgive him. I feel the stab of my old pain rise to the surface. His impending death hurts more. I struggle to reconcile the hero I loved, the flawed man he really was, and the broken soul he’s become.
When his mind is sharper, he doesn’t want to hide in his den. With help, he goes to the stables. Mack joins us sometimes, and we talk horses. Those days spin me back to a time when my father hung the moon.
Thanks to my presence, I don’t think Urick feels the end coming. He never seems scared during his final week. Only once or twice does he look at me and act completely confused. Usually, he seems relaxed and sharper mentally.
Two days before he dies, Mack and I join Urick for lunch. Walla Walla hangs back, refusing to feel any affection toward my father. I don’t blame him for holding a grudge. That’s how Walla Walla copes with his anger, and I never want him to change.
That day, Urick and Mack tell stories from long ago. They share laughter. Urick seems strong enough to live another decade. Yet, Mack knows better, and I feel the younger man struggling with telling his surrogate father goodbye.
During my visits, I memorize everything my dad says. One day, I hope to share these stories with my own children when I talk about the grandfather they’ll never know.
Urick’s death shouldn’t shock me. I know it’s coming. Yet, I’ve let myself believe he might survive through the holidays. He seemed stronger at the end. I allowed the daddy’s girl in me to hope for what wasn’t possible.
The grief feels unbearable. I literally think I might die when Mack gives me the news. I’d planned to see Urick that morning. I wasn’t ready. Did I tell him I loved him? Were words left unsaid? Why hadn’t I come home sooner?
The pain blinds me to the future. I can’t see past my regrets and sorrow.
When I speak to Suzanne, my hysteria inspires her to immediately travel to town to console her brokenhearted daughter. I even hear her tell Walla Walla how I might need to return to Banta City for a bit, just to recover.
However, my grief doesn’t break me. I don’t die from the pain. I wake up the next day next to Walla Walla and see past my grief to a beautiful future awaiting me.
Similar to my panic, I get through the overpowering pain to the light on the other side. Walla Walla never leaves my side. Even when I sob on the toilet, he stands at the door and talks to me.
