AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Hearing what went down with Urick makes her anxiety more understandable. However, I suspect deep down Austen’s wild side still exists. I just need to coax it out to play.
AUSTEN
Coco quickly agrees to join me on the trip to McMurdo Valley. I expected a little more resistance. After all, if Walla Walla and I fall in love and get married, where does that leave her? Will she stay in McMurdo Valley? Or start over back here in Banta City?
None of these questions come up when she agrees. Coco only asks to take a car to her place and grab stuff for the trip.
I’m soon stunned by my mom’s relaxed demeanor when she joins me after Coco leaves. I had prepared several arguments to explain my choice to go. By standing up for myself, I hoped I’d feel more certain about leaving my home to venture to a place I’ve actively avoided for so long.
Suzanne’s assistant fishes out my suitcase and rests it on my bed. All while my mom smiles at me, and I stare horrified by how she agrees so easily.
“I spoke to Walla Walla,” Suzanne explains, and her support makes more sense. “I think he possesses the right qualities to make you happy. Not that he necessarily will, but I feel this is a good opportunity for you.”
“I won’t see Urick.”
“That’s up to you,” she says, losing her smile. “If you feel there’s nothing left to say to him, no one can claim otherwise. However, you should remember how you rushed home that summer. At eighteen, you couldn’t stand up for yourself like you can now.”
I stare at my mother, wishing she could come with me. Suzanne steamrolls people. When that tactic doesn’t work, she finesses her obstacles. I wish I had her skills.
“You are not a child,” Suzanne says after bringing a few shirts to my suitcase as if to spur me to begin packing. “You are an educated woman who runs her own business. You feel weak because you don’t push yourself. But I think you handled yourself quite well when those men showed up at the clinic.”
“I had a panic attack.”
“They tried to kill you.”
Recalling how steady I remained during the actual attack, I explain, “I had it when I saw Walla Walla and knew my father’s troubles had spilled into my life.”
“Yes, but you saved those cats. I’m not sure I would have. If my life were in danger, I would have run away and ditched everyone to survive.”
“You wouldn’t have left Hunter and me.”
“No,” she says and cups my face. “You and your sister are the only things in the entire world capable of encouraging self-sacrifice on my part. However, you stopped to save those cats. You watched out for Coco. What you didn’t do is fall apart and hide. And you won’t do that in McMurdo Valley.”
“I would have died without Walla Walla and Goose.”
“Yes, and they’ll be with you on this trip. I think he’ll be a good influence on you,” Suzanne says, folding one of my shirts. “While he’s no pushover, he isn’t a beast, either. Men are complicated. Good ones are rare. I can’t be totally certain, but I suspect Walla Walla is a solid pick.”
“I’m surprised by how you aren’t trying to protect me from him.”
“Hunter told me how you had a crush on him years ago. I understand how he holds power within your heart. However, I mostly like how he held himself when dealing with the Backcountry Kings and myself. If he descended into childish male bravado, I wouldn’t have approved. I want you to be surrounded by smart people. Walla Walla might seem too affable to be dangerous, but I can see how he’s simply hiding his darker impulses. That’s smart. I believe he’ll take good care of you.”
Nodding, I stare at her and wait for my confidence to kickstart itself. Suzanne rests her hands on my shoulders and looks in my eyes.
“If you don’t like it there, come back. If you like it there, but don’t like him, you can build a life without him there. You have options. If you need help, I will ride in to save you.”
“I’m scared. Those are the words I keep hearing in my head.”
“Yes, but they’re the same words you heard when you were starting school each year. You’d look to me for permission to drop out of college and then veterinarian school. I’d tell you to give it a chance. You grudgingly went to school, hating how I wouldn’t give you an out. But going to classes never proved to be too much.”
Suzanne sighs and continues, “And you were the same way when you started Pudding Paws. I recall you also suffering anxiety when you took on the job for the Kovak family.”
“I hadn’t considered my absence with the Kovak family. Who will care for their horses and dogs?”
“They’ll survive without you. I’ll tell Katja the situation is temporary, for now. You just focus on you. And maybe keep an eye on Coco. She’s been acting very strangely since the fire.”
Settling on the bed, I stare at my hands and tear up. “I don’t want the real Walla Walla to ruin the fantasy version in my head. He’s been my dream man for so long. I’m unsure what I’ll do when things don’t work out.”
Suzanne rests next to me and takes my hand. “Do you know what I like most about Walla Walla?”
