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“We have to come together,” I say in a soft voice. “A group of nobodies nearly wiped out our club. Yagger will never be the same. Many of us are banged up.”

I grip my phone, thinking of Austen waiting for me. “And we have new people in our lives with no taste for this kind of thing. It’s like that feral mama cat and her babies. Rose is tough after a lifetime on her own. She can handle crazy. But those kittens will die from too much stress. That’s why we’re careful with them. So, I’m asking for us to be careful with our guests and each other. Is that really such a big fucking request?”

Feeling guilty, Tomcat quickly shakes his head. Dice and Smokey were already cool with slowing things down. The reality is we were calmer for a while when Eagle was living here with Irina and their newborn. We still had parties on Fridays, but most of the week was quiet.

After ending the meeting, I walk next to Hobo as we both head toward our women.

“Thanks,” he mutters under his breath.

Hobo spent years living in tents around in the Valley’s rough land. He couldn’t settle down at the Pigsty after a childhood living with crazy cult parents. I used to feel guilty complaining about my repressive, weirdo parents when I saw how bad Hobo’s were. In the end, I realized we weren’t having a competition. His parents and mine could both suck.

Now, Hobo’s living back in the Pigsty because of his woman. Never in a million years did I think he’d find someone like Xenia. I figured a weirdo would be his bang-mate. He’d live in a tent in her backyard. They’d be together yet separate. Instead, he’s changing so he can keep Xenia. I honestly don’t understand their relationship or know if it’ll last. But for now, he seems happy in an entirely new way.

People can change. I believe Austen can, too, despite her fears. She wants to be carefree. I feel her letting her guard down and unleashing her wilder side. Yet, the first sign of danger sends her spiraling.

I’m afraid at some point she’ll decide I’m the menace she needs to flee, and our time together will be over.

Austen seems calmer when I arrive in her room. She even asks for what she needs. I feel her pushing herself harder than she should.

“I can’t promise I’ll be willing to do more tonight, but if you’re still interested in elbow action,” she says and lifts her elbows for me, “here they are.”

Smiling, I erase the final bit of space between us. Austen watches me with an exhausted yet flirty gaze. She’s so close to falling apart. I see her flinch when I lean down to kiss her exposed elbows. I also notice an intense longing in her eyes.

Guilt hits me again like it often has today. Nothing matters more than making this woman feel comfortable in my life.

I take Austen’s hand and ask if she’d like to meet Rose the Cat and her kittens. Caring for animals is what she knows. Helping people made her feel good about herself.

Like how Xenia needs to cook for people, Austen can breathe easier when in her element.

Austen grips my hand as we leave the room, seeming on edge despite no one being in the hallway. I guide her toward a storage room, where the cats are set up. Earlier, the outside door was open to let the gray-and tan striped mama cat run around outside. Currently, she’s cuddled with her nursing kittens, and the door is closed.

Austen kneels next to the dog igloo set up in the corner. While I explain how Xenia ended up with the cats, my woman settles her sweet ass on the ground and waits for Rose to stop hissing.

Despite seeming nervous after leaving her room, Austen takes notes on each cat like she would back in her clinic.

“I’ll talk to Ruin’s stepmom about possible locations for your local clinic,” I say, and she freezes. “We can look at pictures and maps here. Later, you can visit those places.”

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she says, tearing up. “I’m like a project you need to complete.”

“No, you’re a hot chick I’m seducing.”

Austen’s expression flips, and her tired eyes shine. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”

Her tone makes my gut hurt. She sounds defeated despite her smile. I squat next to her and take her hand. My mouth opens to offer her promises, yet I don’t think she’ll believe a damn one.

Instead of pledging my heart, I ask questions about the kittens. Austen mentions how she would like to check each one to monitor their weight. For a moment, I see the version of Austen who knows her place in the world. I imagine what she was like back in her element. Then, I see a flash of her coming home to me after a day of working at her new clinic. That last part feels within reach.

After she makes her list of necessities for the cats, we walk outside where a warm day greets us. When I see her shading her face with her hands, I run back inside to grab a wide hat. She laughs at me jogging back out with several options. The sound of her amusement feels like a reward I don’t necessarily deserve, but I can't help claiming.

AUSTEN

After checking on Rose the Cat and her kittens, I’m formally introduced to the Pigsty’s other residents. Tomcat is a handsome, playboy type. Dice is the guy with the bandana. Walla Walla explained earlier how the younger man suffered a head injury during the attack and is still dealing with double vision and headaches. Smokey has reddish-brown hair and a limp from his run-in with the ranch workers.

Hobo seems like a rougher version of Walla Walla. I would be intimidated by his gruff expression, except I see how his blue-eyed gaze softens at the sight of his girlfriend, Xenia. They only started dating recently yet seem comfortable together. I imagine having such a casual demeanor around Walla Walla.

My exhausted brain zeroes in on Xenia for the next few hours. She’s not a young, sexy groupie type. In her mid-thirties, she’s casually beautiful. Her long, straight hair is dark blonde. Her gray eyes are so expressive. Her face is bruised from a recent incident with a landlord, though I’m unclear about the exact details.

I’m curious about Xenia’s life. What lured her to McMurdo Valley? How did she win Hobo’s heart? Is there a formula for finding happiness with a Steel Berserker?

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