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Glancing back in the house, I add, “I don’t know why this attack threw you off so much. Maybe it comes down to you having a new wife and baby at home. Or these guys seemed so pathetic next to us, so you can’t believe they did so much damage. Whatever the reason, you’re acting paranoid and giving me attitude, even though I’m completely in control of my stuff.”
“Uh-huh. You might be right about me, but I’ll go ahead and give you a wake-up call. Austen being here will draw attention from her family. Peter absolutely does not want her here. She’s a threat to his inheritance.”
Ruin glances back into the house as if he thinks someone might be listening. “Why do you think Erik is such a shit-stain? His big brother just kept picking at him, making the little asshole feel insecure. Every time Erik did something dumb, Peter could turn to Urick and say, ‘Are you really going to leave your beloved ranch and everything you’ve worked for to that irresponsible loser?’”
“Yeah, but Austen has me, and I will absolutely end Peter if he messes with her. I really am a benevolent dictator, destroying the bad and protecting the good.”
Ruin finally chills out and chuckles. My president is why we’re alive, powerful, and rich. I have no doubt he can fix our manpower situation in a way that allows us to keep our club like a family without sacrificing our place at the top.
AUSTEN
I’m staggered by how quickly I adjust to living at the Pigsty. The gorgeous lodge is located on a serene piece of land. The Pigsty is especially tranquil during the day when several of the club members ride into town after breakfast.
Normally, Dice and Smokey would be gone, too. However, the latter struggles with headaches, leaving him often hiding in his room. Smokey limps around, seeming annoyed at his body for not cooperating.
From what Walla Walla shared about Hobo, his club brother used to live a more nomadic life. He wouldn’t show up at the Pigsty for days, even weeks. Since Xenia moved in—a short time before the attack on the club—Hobo has remained close. The quiet couple keeps to themselves, especially during the day.
The Pigsty’s tranquility spooks Coco. When she sticks close to Walla Walla and me, I feel guilty about bringing her here. Yet, I also know she wouldn’t be okay back home. Coco’s life shrunk over the years. Friends from her dancing world moved on. She doesn’t have a support system in Banta City without me.
This morning, Coco decides to watch a movie with Smokey who is frustrated about a long night without sleep.
“I can’t get comfortable unless I’m blitzed,” he complains to Walla Walla.
“Get blitzed then. No need to wallow in pain when you’ve got people to pick up the slack.”
Smokey isn’t sure. No one seems to truly believe the threat is over. I would also be paranoid if Walla Walla weren’t certain. I’m learning to trust his instincts.
Even so, I get a little nervous when he receives a text and asks me to leave Smokey and Coco in the media room. Walla Walla takes my hand and guides me to the front porch. His touch relaxes me, so I zero in on that feeling rather than my anxiety.
“I know you’re scared,” he explains as we descend the wide steps. “I know you had a severe panic attack the last time you tried riding. But I believe you’re stronger than you think.”
Parked at the side of the property is a horse trailer connected to a large truck. I freeze, thinking my father’s somehow involved.
“Do you know Robert Green?” Walla Walla asks. When I shake my head, he gestures at the middle-aged man nearby. “He runs a horse ranch in Locust Pines. I asked him to bring his best horse here for you to enjoy.”
Robert nods at Walla Walla and me before opening the trailer. Soon, a chestnut Quarter Horse stands before me.
“Even if you can’t ride, I wanted you to be close to what you miss,” Walla Walla whispers in my ear as I study the horse.
Robert returns to his truck after disconnecting the trailer. Once the man drives away, Walla Walla explains, “I didn’t want you to feel any pressure, so the horse will be around for the entire afternoon.”
Stroking the animal, I speak to it quietly. The horse is clearly well trained and not easily spooked. Yet, I still want him to become accustomed to me. Even the best animals can sense anxiety from humans and react accordingly.
“What scares you about riding?” Walla Walla asks as he watches me with the horse.
“That day,” I say and hesitate. “The one when Hunter and I got hurt, the men were watching us ride. I hadn’t thought anything about their interest. I assumed they were bored. But after it all happened and I went home, I picked at every detail as if searching for clues. I think maybe I convinced myself being on the horses and, well, you know, bouncing, was a catalyst to what happened.”
“That’s not how it works,” Walla Walla says softly. “Men don’t hurt women because of a trigger from the victims.”
“I know that logically. But I’ve always assumed I got them aroused.”
“Want to know a gross secret?” he asks and cups my face. “Men get hard from a wind gust. They get riled up at the sight of a piece of food. Male junk is weird and reacts wildly over the smallest things. I’m not saying it isn’t different when we see someone we really want. I’m just saying you can’t take a man’s erection personally.”
Walla Walla looks at the horse and shrugs. “As a kid, my parents made erections seem like the work of the devil. But it’s just weird brain stuff. Nothing magical about it.”
“I’m sorry your family is awful.”
“Me too. I would have really liked having a fun childhood,” Walla Walla replies and then smiles at me. “But I got a great fucking adulthood. I suspect being middled-aged and old will be great too now that I have you.”
