AllFreeNovel
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“Okay, then, I want two,” I admit, imagining redheaded babies in this woman’s arms. “I feel like more than two is noise, and a single kid is sad. A lot of my friends have a brother and a sister in their family. I know we can’t really control the boy-girl thing, but that’s always been my ideal.”
“I liked having a sister. I never wanted more siblings. I think I would have been lonely with less. Your preference makes sense to me.”
“When you’re ready,” I say, brushing my knuckles across her soft, flushed cheek, “I’ll toss aside my love affair with condoms, and we’ll see what happens.” Suddenly, I think of her fancy family. “Or should we wait until after the wedding stuff?”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Of course, but I’ve wanted you for a long time.”
“But I’ve also wanted you.”
“Yes, but I couldn’t want anyone else. No other man could get me to push through my panic and ride again. You’re special to me, but I feel like other women could make you happy.”
“You’re wrong. I require a very specific woman with red hair, a nice rack, a veterinarian degree, boring taste in music, and a love affair with saddles. Clearly, my options were limited. Fortunately, I have you.”
Austen smiles at my logic and wraps herself around me. “I don’t feel ready to pick a location for my clinic. But I wasn’t ready to ride, either. So, if you’re willing to help me choose, I’m curious at possible locations.”
“I’ll be happy to help but don’t feel like you need to do everything right immediately. I only requested the horse because I saw how sad you were when you were stoned. We can take our time with other things.”
Austen smiles at my bullshit. I’ve been pushing her hard since we met. Even now, I’m wondering if we can go out to dinner somewhere and talk like a couple. Back at the Pigsty, I need to share her with Coco and now Xenia.
The unhappy kid I was so long ago is currently making me crazy. He’s so sure someone will steal our fun. Austen won’t stay with us. We’re going to lose. Our hearts won’t recover.
My parents are still mucking in my life even without being a part of it.
Except I’ve been free longer than I was caged. I know how the world works. I understand why Austen disappeared as clearly as I know why she’ll stay now.
That’s why, rather than go out to dinner where she might run into someone who upsets her, I take her back to the safety of the Pigsty. I also remind the worried kid inside me how Austen’s been waiting for us for more than a decade. We’re her prize. She won’t abandon or punish us.
We just have to settle the fuck down and let her breathe. Soon, the Valley will claim her in the same way it has so many others. Once the magic of this place takes hold of a person, there’s no breaking free.
AUSTEN
Today was exhilarating yet exhausting. Despite my fatigue, sleep eludes me. I end up sitting in bed, recalling my old fantasies about Walla Walla. The real man is within reach. I could go to him now. Would he want me in his space? Yes, probably. Can I handle exposing myself to him? No, probably not.
However, I’m consumed by thoughts of his hands on me. I hear that old voice in my head. My wild child claims Walla Walla belongs to me. I’ve known this fact since the first time I saw him.
Over the last week, I’ve often felt out of control—tears, panic attacks, and that annoying squeaky sound my voice gets when I’m stressed. Yet, despite my frequent breakdowns, Walla Walla still wants me.
I’m certain I’ll move too fast and ruin what I’m building with him. That’s why I try to drum up my insecurities to prevent me from leaving my room and walking to his.
My heart promises Walla Walla and I can work around my crazy. We’ll keep the lights low. Take things slowly. Whatever needs to happen to share my body with Walla Walla.
Wearing my knee-length, short-sleeved flannel nightgown, I step into the quiet hallway. My socks allow for soundless movement as I traverse across the lodge and up the stairs to Walla Walla’s room. I stand in the hallway for a long time, working up the nerve to rap my knuckles against his door.
The sound is so loud. I’m certain everyone will emerge from their rooms to judge me. I fight the urge to retreat. I turn away from the door and imagine myself fleeing. Before fear can steal my courage, Walla Walla opens his door.
My worries are instantly devoured by a lust only Walla Walla can inspire. He’s wearing nothing more than his boxers. I get the sense they weren’t on before I knocked. More than once, Walla Walla has mentioned how he likes to go nude. He claimed everyone at the Pigsty—maybe the entire town—has seen him bare-assed before.
I expect Walla Walla to ask what’s wrong. Yet, he only smiles softly as if he’s been beckoning me to him.
“Can we keep your room on the dark side?” I ask and step back.
“Yes, but not completely dark. I need to be able to see or I might get clumsy.”
Grinning, I like how he pretends to be concerned with his own behavior rather than mine. As I step closer, he steps back. We do our little dance until he can reach around me and shut the door.
