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Crawling back in bed, I laid on my pillow and watched her sleep. Would it be weird if I cuddled her? I could just pretend it had happened while we were sleeping. That shit happened all the time in rom-coms.
I decided to risk it. She’d let me hold her right after we’d had sex. It was probably okay now. Pulling her into my arms, I buried my nose into her neck, wishing I was burying my dick inside her instead. My lips tracked her pulse for a long minute, some weird part of me obsessed with the feel of it. I reluctantly stopped when she stirred in my arms.
Waking her up was the last thing I wanted to do. If she did wake up, then she could decide we were done, and she could leave.
I blinked my eyes wearily, trying to stay awake. I’d been riding a high since the moment I’d seen her tonight, adrenaline from the game and everything else keeping me wired.
But…that was a whole fucking lot for one night and…my eyelids grew heavy. I’d just close them for a second. I couldn’t go to sleep…not until I convinced her she was meant to stay instead of to leave.
CHAPTER 6
OLIVIA
The moonlight filtered through the shades, casting a soft glow across the room. I stood by the door, my heart heavy with an ache I was doing my best to ignore.
Walker lay in bed, his features etched with a frown, his hand clutching the sheets as if searching for something that had slipped away.
Everything inside me was screaming at me to stay, to crawl back into bed with him, to drown in the intensity of whatever this was.
But that wasn’t an option. Because good things never were for me.
I didn’t know almost anything about him, but the little I did know made it clear he was too good for my shit. He deserved so much more than the chaos that clung to me.
Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at him one last time, committing his image to memory. His disheveled hair, the way his lips curled in his sleep. I wanted to keep it with me, help me get past what waited for me after I left here.
With a heavy heart, I turned away, my footsteps silent as I slipped out of the penthouse and into the elevator. As I pressed the button for the lobby, I whispered a silent goodbye.
It was better this way,I murmured for the millionth time.
The city outside was already waking up, cars honking and racing by, a stark contrast to the stillness I had left behind. Each step I took away from him felt like pain.
The ache in my chest wasn’t real,I told myself.
But it tasted like a lie.
I slipped out of the Uber, the ever present hole inside of me feeling even wider for some reason, the emptiness clawing at my insides and making it hard to breathe.
I stood on the sidewalk, taking a few deep breaths. Trying to get ahold of myself, rebuild my armor before I returned back to my real life. Where I couldn’t feel, couldn’t smile, couldn’t be anything but what they wanted.
I could feel him inside me, and on my skin, like somehow he’d managed to coat every part of me with…him. The ache between my legs, I didn’t want it to fade.
Like maybe if I carried part of last night with me, it could help me…
Survive.
I sighed, because I knew better than to have anything that resembled…hope. Hope was for fools.
And after that one night, the one where I had dared to hope, my whole life had been ruined.
I’d never be foolish enough to hope again.
I pulled off my wig as the elevators opened and I stepped inside my apartment, somehow not surprised at all to see Jolette and Marco sitting in the living room, lounging on my furniture like they lived here.
Resigned.
That was the only thing I could feel with what I knew was coming.
Jolette was checking her fingernails as I slowly trudged in, not bothering to give me attention. The anticipation of her disapproval was what she liked the most. It was an art form for her. Dragging out the dread.
