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“Okay, so let me see if I understand,” Lila says in that voice she always gets when she’s trying to be rational. “You don’t want to seriously date anyone, but you need to find someone to have sex with that you won’t get attached to?”
“Yes.”
“And if you don’t, you’re worried you’ll give in with Cooper, even though you don’t like him. You’re only turned on by him.”
“Right.”
My friends look at each other for a moment and Lila chuckles. “I’m really trying to give you a chance to come to the obvious conclusion here, Mare.” She leans forward to sip her drink then looks me in the eye. “Ride him like a camel out of the desert.”
Holly and Cara both burst into laughter.
“You’re supposed to be the reasonable one, remember?”
“I am being reasonable. He isn’t your usual type. I highly doubt he’s going to tattoo his name on you after one date, ask you to pay his phone bill, or beg you to bail him out of jail for stealing cigarettes.”
“He’s a slumlord.”
She shrugs, and Cara pipes up, “Not anymore. Besides, if you’re sure you don’t want anything more with him, what difference does it make? He won’t be here long term.”
“This is not how I saw this conversation going,” I groan, and Holly pats my arm, then turns to Lila.
“Can I see his picture again?”
Lila turns her phone around where the screen is visible. In this one, she caught him carrying some wood, biceps flexing for the camera.
Holly’s nod is enthusiastic. “I vote do it.”
For fuck’s sake.
“I second it,” Cara giggles.
Lila smiles at me. “It’s unanimous. Also, we’re going to need status updates.”
The rest of our dinner flies by because all I can think about is whether or not I’m going to do this. Whenever I remember that kiss, his voice in my ear, the way my body seems to light up around his, the choice seems clear. Then his little smirk appears in my head. The satisfaction he’d get feels like letting him win. Maybe that’s stubborn, but oh, he pisses me off.
A mixture of sleet and ice has already coated the ground when I take Holly home, then drop Lila and Cara off on their street. Rock salt crunches underfoot where Pops has salted our driveway. Cooper’s truck sits in the driveway of the darkened trailer he was ordered to stay in, but faint light glows from the rear of the office trailer. I noticed he put a bed and loveseat in the room at the end of the hall. He must be staying there.
While I’m staring across the street, Pops comes out of our place carrying a big pot in his arms. “What are you looking at?”
“Just wondering which trees will come down this time,” I lie. “So many need to be trimmed.”
“Ain’t no telling. There’s chili in the fridge. I’m taking the rest down to the guys. We’re playing cards so don’t wait up.”
“Be careful and don’t break a hip coming home.”
Chuckling, he walks off toward the golden guys’ trailer. I have our place to myself. I could take a nice hot bath, spend some time with the dildo, and hope that this urge passes.
Yeah, that’s not happening. Instead, I take a quick shower, throw on leggings and a sweater, and cross the road to the office trailer.
Instead of knocking or texting him any sort of warning first, I use my key and let myself inside. I want him to be off balance. If I’m doing this, I’m going to be the one in control. He isn’t fucking me, I’m fucking him.
I’m not sure what I expect to find when I cross the darkened office and start down the dim hallway. He could be in the shower again, or asleep.
Just past the tiny kitchen nook, strong arms suddenly wrap around me from behind and I’m yanked back against a hard body. A split second of fear and panic is ended by his voice in my ear.
“Sneaking into my bedroom, sweetheart?”
CHAPTER
