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“Cooper’s stuck in a wall. He fell through it.”
“Are you serious? Is he hurt?” Dylan exclaims.
“Yes, I’m serious and no, he isn’t injured or anything. Just stuck. Don’t worry, I’m recording.” Dylan’s laughter blares through the phone and Cooper shakes his head at me, biting back a grin. “I think he’s trying to flip you off, but his arms are pinned so I can’t be sure.”
“I’m on my way.”
I relay that message then rummage through what’s left in the kitchen. They still have a cabinet of snacks that hasn’t been moved to the new place. I’ve just sat back down with a bag of pretzels when the front door opens.
“It’s about time!” Cooper calls, but it isn’t Dylan.
Instead, Cara enters with Row’s dog, Twist, at her heels. Her gaze leaps from the sight of Cooper’s backend poking out of the wall to me sitting in my chair, munching on a pretzel.
Without a word from either of us, I wave for her to come closer. A few steps are all it takes for her to be able to see both sides of the wall and her mouth falls open. “What the hell?”
“He’s stuck.”
“Look, if this is some kind of kink, I’m not judging but you could at least let us get moved out first. Plus, I don’t think you know how a glory hole works.”
“Very funny. Is Row with you?” Cooper asks.
“He should be right behind me.” Grinning, she walks from one side of the wall to the other, then stops beside my chair where we can see everything.
Cooper strains to see like he may be able to look through the wall when the front door opens again. Dylan steps inside, pauses to stare, then bursts out laughing.
“Good news, Dylan’s here,” I chirp.
“I don’t know what I expected but this isn’t it,” Dylan says, walking around to where he can talk to Cooper. “Dude, how the hell?”
“I’m wedged in, damn it! We need to take the wall down anyway. Just cut through the framing.”
Dylan doesn’t get a chance to do that before Twist notices Cooper’s back half. Twist has apparently seen some of the same nature shows that I have of animals “presenting” because he instantly gets on his back legs, plants his paws on Cooper’s lower back and starts humping him.
I manage to keep myself together for about half a second until Cooper tries to shoo him away. Watching him try to swat at the dog when he can only move his wrists is too much.
Cara grabs Twist by the collar the moment Row returns. The expression on his face is everything. It’s not every day you come home to see your golden lab humping your landlord through a wall while your girlfriend tries to stop it.
Dylan is now on the floor, dying of laughter, and Cooper is cursing all of us.
“Pretzel?” I ask, holding one out to Row.
It takes a good five minutes for everyone to calm down. Finally, with Cara keeping ahold of Twist, Dylan and Row pull away the drywall around Cooper. After a moment of examination, Dylan nods. “It’s better access from the other side.”
“Twist sure thought so,” Row chuckles.
As they approach Cooper on the back side, Dylan raises his voice into a falsetto. “Oh no, stepbro, I’m stuck! Don’t you dare!”
This time Cooper can’t help cracking up too. “I’m kicking everybody’s ass when I get out of here.”
Dylan cuts him loose in less than a minute, and he stalks toward me the second he’s free.
Okay, in hindsight, the snacking may have been overkill. It wasn’t like it was popcorn, but still. Two paces are as far as I get before I’m scooped up and tossed over his shoulder.
“I didn’t do anything!” I exclaim, trying not to giggle. “Put me down!”
“If you’ll excuse me, I need a little talk with my assistant,” he announces and carries me out the door.
“Where are you going?”
