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“And your answer is because of a tiny rock?”
His chin dipped, and I took a moment to stare at his defined jawline.
“It’s a metaphor. For the fall…the destruction, and yeah, I guess the heart. A pebble is small, hardly noticed, but with the potential to do untold damage. My mother used to tell me about strong leaders, kingdoms and empires and how all of those things could be brought down by such a small thing as insignificant as a pebble. A pebble in the shoe of a great leader is a distraction.
A loose pebble in the wall held in place by other stones could bring down an entire structure. A pebble thrown at the right velocity and speed could bring down a giant. A pebble may be small, but it’s still made of stone. It can shift and change the tide in a war, it can bring down leaders. I know that if I were to ever love, that person, whoever it was, she’d only have to do something small, like that pebble, and it would bring me down. She’d walk into a room and if another man were in that room with us, I’d go insane. Because if I were to ever love, I would love with my entire being. All my fucked-up darkness, all my demons, they’d all bow to that love. Then, like the weak fucker that I am, I’d be brought down by jealousy and fear, I’d always be afraid of losing her. That pebble would be my downfall, and I’m too fucking prideful to fall, and I’m too goddamn afraid to love.”
I watched him as he finished explaining, and the entire time, all I could think was how I’d never look at him the same again. His heart was such a fragile thing, beating under such a dangerous exterior. He was a wolf, and he’d just shown me that underneath his fur and teeth was a bleating, lost sheep.
“How about you?” he finally asked after the silence had stretched too long.
I shrugged. “I haven’t been in love, but I hope I find it someday. I see what Callie still has for Wes, and if I could ever have even a portion of that, I’d be grateful.”
Killian’s grip tightened on me, and I felt a bulge underneath me grow.
“But I’m assuming you’ve fucked other people before…boyfriends?”
The way he said fuck was harsh and sultry; it stirred something in me.
“Yes.” I moved my hips the smallest bit. “I have fucked. I’ve had boyfriends.”
Killian caught my hips and then lifted his, the erection under his jeans was granite now.
“So what, you fuck them, date them to feel good, to let loose?”
My hands went to his shoulders, and I ground down against him.
“Sometimes I indulge to feel good.”
“Wanna feel good right now?” His chest lifted, his hands slid up my back, pulling me closer.
“What did you have in mind?” Because I was not having sex with him, no matter what.
His hands moved until his fingers were dropping to the copper button of my shorts.
“Kiss me.”
My breath stalled in my lungs. Kissing was intimate, and everything this man had done so far was the opposite of that. He didn’t seem like the kissing type.
I tilted my head. “Why?”
He smiled, pulling me closer. “Because I want to taste you, and you’re leaving anyway, what could it hurt?”
Wasn’t that the justification I had been using this entire time?
I answered by leaning in and gently pressing my lips to his. They were soft, so much softer than I had expected, and warm. I moved my head to the side right as his tongue slipped inside my mouth and he emanated a groan. His hand came up, gripping the side of my face in a possessive hold. That mouth moved over mine in a desperate sort of way. He acted starved, like he’d been thinking of kissing me, as if it were the only thing on his mind. Moving with him, I pressed closer, his hold on my face drifted to my neck and then my hair. He was tugging on my locks, tipping my head back when he finally released my lips and began kissing down the column of my throat.
Open-mouthed kisses, sloppy and wet, had me writhing against him. I clutched at his shirt, desperate to have him closer when suddenly his lips returned to mine.
It was electric, dangerous and full of filthy promises. I wanted to strip, fuck and somehow gather every fiber of him and stuff it inside my veins. I didn’t want to leave, and that…fuck, what was happening right now?
With a frantic flutter in my breast, I pulled away from him panting.
His eyes were wide, his chest heaving as well. We stared at one another as if we were silently asking the same question.
What the fuck was that and why did it feel so good?
His hips lifted, and mine rolled on instinct, loving the friction it provided. I said on a gasp. “You can unbutton your jeans, but stay in them.”
