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Kym leans against the porch railing and looks between us with pleading eyes. "What would you do if you were me?"
It's hard to ignore the irony that's creeping up on me. Here she is, torn between staying in the familiar and embracing the unknown. And here I am, trying to ignore the fact that I'm facing a similar decision in a week's time. I'm not sure I'm the right person to give any advice. Especially when Kym is one hundredpercent, head-over-heels in love. And I...I don't know what I am. I've never let myself feel even remotely close to a man.
I give her a tight smile and try my best. "I don't think I've ever liked a man as much as you like Hayes, Kym," I say with a slight shrug. "So I think my choice would be rather selfish compared. But I'd like to think that if I did ever findthatguy for me, I'd be willing to sacrifice some of what I want to meet him halfway."
"Halfway." Kym sighs, looking out into the yard where a bird is scratching around in the grass to find bugs. "Meeting him halfway still means leaving the farm for a spell. How's Josh supposed to cope?"
"I could pitch in." Regina reaches out and gives Kym's arm a squeeze. "I mean, if you and Hayes could split your time between the farm and the shearing contracts, then I think we could make it work."
A short back and forth ensues with Kym not wanting to put extra work on Reggie, but Reggie insisting.
Kym sighs. "Am I crazy even considering this? I've barely known him a full week."
I give her another shrug. "I think the bigger question is, would you be crazy to let this guy go?"
Kym stands stock-still for a moment, staring off unfocused while she collects her thoughts. Regina and I give each other a knowing smile.
"I need to talk to Hayes," Kym blurts out, and before we know it, she's rushing off back to the farm, her blonde curls a wild mess behind her. Regina and I stand on the porch, watching as Kym's silhouette disappears along the path.
"I hope she takes a chance with Hayes," Regina murmurs, a soft smile playing on her features.
I nod, my gaze still on the bend in the path where Kym disappeared.
"Life is too short for what ifs," she adds, turning to me with her eyebrows raised. "Don't you think?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, a slightly nervous laugh jumping out of my chest.
"Oh, I don't know," Regina says, moving to sit on the porch swing. "It's just that you've been here for over a week now and I've barely seen you."
"That's because I brought work with me," I lie, my mouth suddenly feeling too dry to talk because I know what she wants, and I don't know if I'm ready to speak those words out loud yet. While I can admit in my mind that I'm havingfeelingstoward Clark, sharing those feelings with my best friend suddenly feels very foreign. I'm normally the listener in these conversations. I never expected to be in the hot seat.
Regina folds her arms and looks at me with an arched brow. “Being your best friend, I feel like I need to call bullshit on that. You've been with Clark." I open my mouth to protest, but she holds up a hand to stop me. "And before you even try to deny it, remember how incredibly small this town is. Sissy Daley is like the town crier, so there isn't a thing that goes on round here that doesn't get spread far and wide."
My face turns red, and Regina's expression softens.
"Hey, I'm not throwing any shade here. I'm excited for you. I just wish you'd talk to me about it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as red-cheeked and giddy as you have been since leaving the bar with that farm boy last weekend.”
I slump down next to her on the swing, trying to ease the rapid beating of my heart. The porch creaks under our weight and the silence from being in the middle of nowhere amplifies the sound. I glance at Regina, her calm eyes meeting my worried ones, and let out a heavy sigh.
“You're right," I say, feeling like I'm confessing some great sin when all I'm doing is admitting to liking a guy. "He'sdefinitely giving me..." I gulp. "Feelings. But he’s no boy. I can assure you of that. He’s all man, and a very good one at that. Probably too good for someone like me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? You’re the best person I know, Riah.”
“You’re only saying that because we’re besties and you see past my flaws.”
“No. I’m saying it because it’s true. You deserve a good a man.”
“Deserve,” I echo. “That’s an interesting word. What makes me more deserving of good men sticking around as an adult, when there wasn’t a single good man standing by my mom so I could actually have a dad as a kid? What are the odds that this one guy I met on a whim is the one man in my entire thirty-one years who’ll stick by me through thick and thin? Slim to none, Reggie. This happily ever after shit isn’t my destiny. I've never had anything even resembling a relationship.”
“Now I have to call you on your bullshit a second time," Reggie says. "You literally just counseled Kym to go out there and give her relationship with Hayes everything she’s got, and now you’re in here saying you wouldn’t do the same?” She folds her arms across her chest and shakes her head slowly. “I think you’re just scared.”
“Scared,” I scoff, my eyes focused on a mysterious piece of fluff on my clothes. “I’m not scared of a damn thing.”
“Then quit making up excuses. Clark makes you light up inside, Riah. I’ve never seen you like this.”
I let out a sigh. “OK. So he’s great. The best guy I’ve ever known and I think he’s really special. But then what? My life is in the city and his is out here. I’m going home this weekend and then we’re over.”
“So don’t go home.”
