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Yes, that's me, Mason King, Duke of Los Angeles, and an absolute killjoy. Responsibility sapped out what little desire for fun I'd ever had as a boy. My duchess took what was left of me, burning my soul right down to ashes. Now I'm hardened steel, ice-cold from the inside out and only able to thaw when I am truly in my daughter's presence.
And then it's only because I don't want to lay on her the damage that's been lain on me.
"Why, so you can have a crack at her first?" He asks, his words knife-sharp and meant for my heart. It's a miss though. He's a fool if I want anything out of her other than something that's purely transactional.
"Of course not. She needs to remain focused on her purpose here," I say cooly. Benedict has one hand on the doorknob and he's looking at me like he doesn't believe me.
"Truly?" He asks. "You aren't angry I fucked the last one before you could?"
I focus back on my computer screen with a sigh.
"Leave, Benedict."
"You were hard for her—"
"She was barely a child herself."
"Right. You're twenty-nine, not dead. Since when was someone seven years younger than you out of the age bracket? I know it's been a while since—"
He's going to sayhername. The hair on the back of my neck stands up, and I push away from the desk, glowering at him.
"Get out," I tell him, before he can even mention her. He laughs, too loud, and forced.
"Oh, still in love? That's pathetic. Only a fool loves his wife." He sneers and I move, fast, around the desk. He bolts out the door and slams it behind him, knowing what's coming if I catch him.
The beating of his life. He's had a few from me, the worst the weekend that I realized Madeline and I were truly on our own.
Whenshewalked out, vanished on us, decided that her duty wasn't worth it, that the people who were entrusted to our care were not worthy of her time and attention.
The day she decided that Madeline wasn't worth staying in a loveless marriage.
I should have seen it coming. She cursed me the entire three years she wore my ring, and the baroness's circlet.
I stand here in my empty office, feeling the ghost of her presence, the twisted smirks she used to throw in my direction in order to infuriate me to the point I wanted to lay hands on her.
That I never did only convinced her more that I lacked in so many ways.
My eyes slide shut, the crackle of the fire soothing me.
If I'd had any choice, I would never have picked her for a wife, or the mother to my heirs. And because Madeline had been born a girl, I suppose, in a way, she hadn't given me an heir after all. Her final parting gift to me had been tossing our barony into an uncertain future with an unfit Benedict looking to take over the reins when I failed.
I can't even speak her name. Let alone hear it.
Benedict's lucky he was closer to the door than I was to him when he chose to needle me.
I stand there until my breathing evens out and it doesn't feel like my heart is going to burst right out of my chest. It doesn't matter what my feelings on it are, on anything, really. The business of the barony has to come first. People are depending on me.
Moving back to my desk, there is a notification waiting for me on the screen. I tap it, and the new nanny's photo pops up, with an appointment time of her interview. Three days from now, all will be settled and our household can go back to the normal running of things. I can handle everything until then. I hope Mrs. Harris can as well. And then…
I gaze down at her face. We will see.
I will see what came of it, this young woman on whom so many of my hopes rest. Maybe like the others she'll disappoint. But maybe, just maybe, she'll rise to be what I need of her. There's no use of even thinking of it for now. I'll wait, and get back to the unrelenting and unending work of supporting the lives of millions of people.
3
Eva
Sitting a short walk from the ducal residence, Wester Hall, is sending my nerves fizzing. Sitting in front of the housekeeper of the entire property, is somehow even worse.
