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I leave her with that thought in mind and head to find Daniel. It’s time for me to have the brutal conversation I should have had with him last week.
“Savannah.” He looks so pleased to see me that it makes what I have to say seem even more difficult. “How did it go yesterday?” He stands up from his chair and excuses himself from the game he’s playing.
“It was a disaster.” I take his hand and lead him over to the corner of the room so we can talk more privately. I notice Fiona is in here now, polishing the mahogany bar in a not-so-subtle way of eavesdropping.
“I’m sorry to hear that, was he?—”
“You have to go back home.” I rip off the band-aid and get straight to my point. “Daniel, me and you are over. I appreciate how hard you were prepared to try and I care for you deeply, but I’m not in love with you and neither you staying here nor a trip around the world is gonna change that.” I hate the look of disappointment on his face. He was prepared to sacrifice so much for me, and breaking his heart seems so cruel.
“You don’t want to travel, Dan, you want to be a lawyer. You can’t give up your dreams for me, just like you can’t expect me to give up mine for you.”
“Savannah, I love you. You are the dream.” He looks crushed.
“You don’t know me, not the real me. You fell in love with the girl I was pretending to be to keep everyone happy. I’ve found myself here. I’m happy. Now you need to go back to L.A. and be happy doing what you’ve worked so hard to achieve.”
I feel like I’m cutting the last tie I had to the life before I got here, and as much as it hurts me to hurt him in the process, it feels freeing.
“If you’re doing this for him, you’re wasting your time, Savannah, people in this town talk. I’ve heard plenty about the Carson’s. Cole had the love of his life and he lost her. You’re too good to be someone’s replacement.” I realize he’s got hold of my arm when his grip becomes too tight.
“I know that, and I’m not trying to be a replacement. I’m not staying here for Cole. I like this town.”
Daniel looks unconvinced.
“I’ll go home, Savannah. I’ll go home, and I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you to realize that all what you're doing is a mistake and then I’ll fix it.” He pulls me closer and touches his lips to mine softly. “I won’t give up on you,” he whispers before walking out the room, leaving Fiona and the man he was playing cards with staring at me like I just cut the heart out of the man’s chest and took a bite out of it.
I smile politely at them both before rushing out the door. Instead of getting into Leia’s car that I drove here, I see the Neon flashy light outside Cahoots and storm across the street, heading inside.
“You look like you need something strong.” The woman who couldn’t stop looking at Cole last time I was in here smiles from behind the bar.
“You're right there.” I agree as she takes a shot glass and fills it up.
I don’t ask what it is before I knock it back and slam the empty glass back on the bar. I quickly demand another so I can numb all the confusion in my head and try to make sense of what I’m doing. Across the street I have a man who would have given up anything to have me, and yet it’s not enough. Instead, I want to chase after something I can’t have, like some pathetic, needy child.
I don’t know how many shots I knock back as the time ticks past, but the bar has become much busier than it was when I first got here and when Leonard Mason takes the stool beside me, I’m too drunk to hide the disgust I feel toward him.
“You look pleased to see me.” He chuckles as he orders himself a beer.
“I don’t talk to jackasses.” I spin on my stool so my back is to him.
“Wow, little Miss Judgy really is pissed off tonight.” His comment makes me bite.
“I’m not judgy.” I spin back around to defend myself. I’m the least judgy person there is in this town.
“Sure ya are, you just called me a jackass based on what you’ve been told by the Carson’s. That seems pretty judgy to me. Judgy and stupid.”
“I called you a jackass because you are a jackass and that’s based on my own observations, not the opinions of others.” I raise my glass for the barwoman to get me another.
“I’ll get that,” Leonard tells her, slapping a ten-dollar bill on the counter.
“I don’t accept drinks from jackasses.” I snigger, suddenly feeling like my sassy self again and not some needy, desperate girl from LA who fell for a damn cowboy.
“Well I ain’t a jackass so you can accept this one,” he tells me cleverly, clinking his glass against mine before knocking it back.
I humor him and take the hit. I figure a drink can’t do any harm, I’m not stupid, I know this guy’s a slimeball, yet as the night goes on and he insists on going nowhere, I let the slimeball buy me a few more drinks and listen to him talk about all his rodeo adventures.
Leonard is clearly obsessed with himself, he doesn’t ask a single question about me. But it’s exactly what I need. The last thing I want to talk about right now is me and my disaster of a life.
“You going to this?” Leonard rips the flier off the beam that it’s pinned to and places it in front of me.
