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“Then why are you afraid of having everything they want to give you?”
Her question sounded a lot like the ones I had been asking myself. I could only smile, even though she couldn’t see me, because it was just like her to get to the heart of the matter. That’s what best friends are for—to call you on your bullshit.
“I think I’m afraid of other people’s judgement,” my voice was a little shaky as I answered with a half-truth.
Evelyn scoffed, “You’ve never given a single fuck what anyone thinks about you. Why would you start now?”
“It’s different here,” I admitted. “I didn’t need to care about it in Seattle because I knew the club and my family there would accept me no matter what. I don’t have the same reassurance here.”
“Are you afraid of how your mom will react? Their dad?”
“A little,” I whispered.
“Your mom has always wanted you to be happy and from what you’ve told me about Albert, he wants the same thing. I’m sure he wants that for his sons as well.” I could tell by her voice she was getting worked up on my behalf as she huffed, “If you all make each other happy then what’s the problem?”
“What if it hurts the business?”
Evelyn laughed, actually fucking laughed, and I was stunned for a moment. “If the guys who clearly want you were worried about it, do you think they’d be pursuing you like they are?”
“Probably not,” I mumbled, hating that I knew she was right.
“What’s the real problem, Lennon?” I swear she already had the mom voice down and she was still cooking her little peanut.
I wrapped myself up in a blanket on my couch, hoping it would soothe and comfort me. It didn’t really help, but I just burrowed in deeper.
“If I let the guys in then I’m opening myself up for three times the heartbreak,” I conceded quietly.
Evelyn made a humming sound like she was really contemplating my words. “I won’t lie to you,” she finally said, “it’s a possibility.” My heart started to pound in my chest as she gave me that much. “However, if you don’t try then you’re also closing yourself off to three times the love, three times the worship, three times the happiness.”
I mumbled, “When the hell did you get so smart?”
She giggled, the sound bright and bubbly, making me miss her even more. “Around the time I realized I needed to stop running from my past and my own heartbreak. It’s not easy to do. I know it’s not. I also know you can get everything you’ve ever wanted or dared to dream about. You just have to give it a chance.”
We chatted and she filled me in on what’s been going on in Seattle, but her words kept rattling around in my head. That’s why I didn’t turn Kemp away when he showed up at my door.
Evelyn was right and I’m damn glad I didn’t tell him no. I would have missed out on this awesome date, which included the most delicious tacos I’ve ever had. If nothing else, that would have been a shame to end all shames.
As Kemp has been driving me home, I’ve been thinking more about that conversation and who the brothers have shown me they are. I want what they’re offering if I’m being honest with myself. I want everything with them.
I’m still scared, but I know I can’t walk away from them. I would regret it. Maybe not right away, but it would creep in, and I would always be wondering what could have happened.
The thought of them letting me walk away and finding other people makes my heart hurt. I press my hand to my chest without even realizing it and then drop it quickly when Kemp glances over at me.
When we pull up in front of my building, I don’t let Kemp say anything before I blurt out, “Do you want to come up?”
The smile he gives me is full of carnal promises and I know I made the right decision to take a leap. My pussy fucking clenches on nothing and my panties are instantly wet. I remember how good it was between us, but it being just the two of us makes me a little nervous.
We don’t speak as he parks, comes around to open my door and then leads me back up to my place. The moment the door closes behind us, it’s like everything explodes and we’re clinging to each other as our mouths fuse together.
I don’t even question it when he’s able to pick me up and carry me right into my bedroom. Hell, I’m not even sure I could string a question together with the way he’s devouring me. The only thing I can do is melt into him and give myself over to him.
How did I fight this for so long? Yes, I know it hasn’t really been that long, but my body has been craving him, and his brothers, since the night we spent together. Being in his arms feels more like home than anything ever has before. It’s a jarring realization, but one I find myself welcoming with an open heart.
As we start to peel each other’s clothing off piece by piece, I’m struck by a thought and hesitate. Kemp notices right away and pulls back, his dark eyes boring into mine.
His voice is soft like he doesn’t want to spook me, “What’s wrong, baby girl?”
“Is this okay?” When his eyebrows pull together, I shake my head to try and clear some of the lust fog. “I just mean, is it okay if it’s just us? I don’t want anyone to be hurt or jealous.”
