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Eventually, I reached my destination. Finding a parking spot, I locked my car and headed for the main entrance.
The air was muggy, thick with moisture.
Typical for this area right before a storm came in and wiped everything clean. Still, the walk from the parking lot weighed me down. Suffocating me as I moved towards my destination.
Sweat slowly rolled down my back, making my shirt stick to me like a second skin. The air was voluminous, choking, hindering my pace. Almost as if an unseen force was trying to stop me from moving forward.
I didn’t have a choice.
Not with this.
I had to continue on.
The sooner I did what I came for, the quicker I could leave.
That was what I kept telling myself. Just walk in there, sign the papers, and leave. That’s all I had to do.
Yet, standing before the building, I found it hard to move forward because everything would be final in a few brief minutes.
There would be no going back.
No pretending the call was a mistake.
Life moved on and so would I.
I was told to ask for Dr. Bennington when I arrived. That he would be expecting me. The hospital staff did have their hands full on this particular Tuesday night. Then again, this was New York City, so every night was busy.
Making my way towards the admissions desk, I waited as a young pregnant woman and her anxious husband stood infront of me asking a question regarding their referral. It was a common thing, especially when it came to pregnancies. I listened as the receptionist gave the couple directions to the third floor. I stepped forward as a middle-aged man smiled up at me. If he knew why I was here, he wouldn’t be smiling. I knew I wasn’t.
“Hello. My name is Largo Finn. I’m here to see Dr. Bennington. He is expecting me.”
Waiting as the man looked my name up on the computer, I surveyed the hospital lobby, looking for anything to take my mind off why I was there. I wanted to be anywhere else, even back in Mrs. Stein’s high school algebra class that I hated with a passion. I would gladly sit through another lecture of hers with a smile on my face than be where I was at the moment.
“Ms. Finn. You can take the elevator to level B-three. Dr. Bennington said he will meet you at the elevator.”
“Thank you.”
Making my way over to the elevators, I pressed the down arrow button and waited for the doors to open. When they did, I walked in and hit the B-three button.
It seemed like the elevator was deliberately descending slowly, almost as if some supernatural force was safeguarding me from what was to come.
It didn’t have to.
I’d had plenty of time to prepare myself.
I knew what to expect.
Once everything was done, I would get back in my car and never look back. When I received the call, I held my emotions at bay. I knew it was futile, that eventually they would overpower me, but not right now. Now, I needed to keep my head squarely on my shoulders.
Tomorrow I would fall apart.
The doors opened.
Stepping out, an older gentleman in a white lab coat greeted me. Why do doctors always wear white coats? They didn’t operate in them. Did they keep them warm? Hospitals were cold. Maybe that’s why they wore them.
“Ms. Finn?”
“That’s me,” I quipped, rubbing my hands together as my nerves got the better of me.
