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“What’s going on in that head of yours?” I asked gently.
“It’s stupid, really?”
“Baby, nothing about you is stupid.”
“I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
She looked up at me and whispered, “Caleb, I’m not on the pill.”
“I see,” I muttered, trying to hide my hurt.
“No,” she quickly said, grabbing my face. “It’s not what you think. I want you, Caleb. I’ve always wanted you. What I’m trying to say is we don’t have protection. If we continue, which Ihope we do, there is a good chance you could get me pregnant. Is that something you are ready for?”
“Baby, I want whatever you want. I don’t care if we have five kids or if it’s just Sophia. I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
Largo smiled warmly. “Five kids, really?”
I smirked. “A man can hope, right?”
“Three. My limit is three.”
“Works for me.”
Not wanting to ruin the moment, I knew I couldn’t continue until I asked her one simple question. I hated the thought of her pulling away from me, but it was now or never.
Bringing her hand up to my lips, I asked, “Baby, why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want to play at being my submissive anymore?”
I left the question hanging while I watched her close her eyes and sigh.
I could see whatever the truth was, bothered her. While I was willing to give her anything, I needed her to be truthful with me, or our relationship would never work. I knew that more than ever now. Regardless of if we had a BDSM relationship or not, trust and honestly were the most important elements in any relationship.
Vanilla or not.
I needed her to tell me what it was she wanted.
“It was fun at first, but I missed you. The times we had before. I should have told you. I know that now, but I didn’t know how, and I didn’t want to upset you.”
“You thought I’d get mad, didn’t you?”
She nodded. “Yes. You seemed to enjoy the scene, and while I liked some of it, I realized it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t be that person full time. I didn’t want to be.”
“Baby, look at me.”
When she looked at me, I continued, “Over these last months and after listening to Torment drone on and on, I’ve realized that our marriage only works if we are honest with each other. While we desperately need to work on our communication, this, right here in this room, is where we do most of our talking. In here, in this bed, we don’t hide from each other. If you don’t want something, you tell me. I won’t get mad.”
“But you liked it.”
“I did,” I admitted, then added, “Because I thought it was what you wanted. Baby, I can’t read your mind. If you don’t tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours, I don’t know what to do.”
“Like telling you what Cynic did?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “Instead of telling me what happened, you left, and I didn’t know what to think. God, baby, I was so worried, afraid and fearful that I’d done something to make you leave. It really fucked with my head. The longer you stayed gone, my worry morphed into anger until that was all I felt.”
“I’m sorry I put you through that.”
“Baby, it wasn’t just me that got hurt. You hurt yourself too. For three years, you’ve had to deal with everything all on your own instead of having me by your side, helping you. Part of me wants to spank your ass for not talking to me. Running is never the answer.”
