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Mads threads her fingers through my hair, and I let out a sigh. Her touch is tender. I finally feel like myself for the first time in a long while.
Pulling my head back, I place a kiss next to my hand still on her. I look up and find her watching me. The balance we instil in one another, we were made for each other. “I love you, Mads.”
Her smile reaches her ears. Happy tears now fall, and as she closes her eyes to stem their flow, I push up, cupping her face in my hands. Mads parts her legs allowing me to move closer to her.
I kiss her, lightly pressing my lips to hers. A saltiness coats where we’re connected, her tears still in full flow. “Don’t cry, babe. I’m here.”
Lips parting, Mads takes in air.
I slide my hand to the back of her neck, holding onto her,keeping her close.
Our foreheads touching, both breathing a little heavier, she opens her eyes, her hands holding onto my arms. “You came back to me.”
I smile. “I made a promise.” I kiss her again, angling her face toward me, pulling her closer.
Feeling her relaxing, finally believing I’m here, my tongue dips past her lips. Her taste. It’s all-encompassing. As much as I want to lose myself in her, I know this isn’t the right moment.
She’s thinking the same as me. I can hear her heart racing. The fast pace at which her chest now rises and falls, tells me everything I need to know. “Never again.” Mads tightens her hand around my arm, pulling back, forcing me to stop. We lock our gazes, the tips of our noses still touching. She’s happy I’m here, fearful I’ll leave again.
With a knowing sigh, I agree, “Never again.” I stand climbing over her, laying myself down on the bed, my arms opened for her.
She shifts, tactically twisting her body towards me.
I smile watching her move. It’s no longer as easy as it once was. I can’t help placing my hands on her bump, and she curls her body into mine.
Mads wraps an arm around me, and I tuck her into me. I rest my head on her hers, kissing the top of her hair. As long as she’s here, I know I’m good.
Shuffling my body further down the bed, my eyes suddenly feel heavy. The bed feels soft. My girl is in my arms. I’m surrendering to bliss, treasuring this moment. A moment I didn’t envision ever having again. “I know who I am now.” The words fall out before I fully register I’ve said them.
Mads pulls her head back, her chin on my chest looking up at me. She’s silent for a long moment before she speaks. “Tell me what I’m thinking.”
A weight lifts from my shoulders. The familiarity of this small thing between us makes me smile. “You want to know if I’m the man you need me to be.”
She doesn’t give me a reply. She doesn’t need to. I cup her cheek, leaning down to meet her lips. I kiss her, then I hold her still, making sure she’s truly listening. “I will prove to you that I can be the man you want to marry. One day, I’ll leave all this shit behind me. You deserve more. My child deserves more. Don’t give up on me, I’ll get us there.”
Mads doesn’t say anything. She’s as exhausted as I am. She simply kisses me, then turns her head back onto my chest.
I lean to switch off the light, then pull the duvet over us.
We find sleep. Together.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
MADISON
Dim light shines through the window. It brightens the colours behind my eyes, sluggishly waking me from deep sleep. I haven’t slept that well for weeks, shattered by Dean arriving home. To be honest, I’m still not sure it was real.
Blinking my heavy eyes open, I take in every ray of light. Without doubt, I’ve slept too long. It’s Sunday morning. I have nowhere to be, but my body feels heavy.
I look to the empty space beside me, slightly lifting my head. Maybe it was a dream? Maybe I’ve finally snapped. Started conjuring up scenarios I desperately want. I honestly wouldn’t put it past me now.
Then the sound of running water trickles to my ears, my senses immediately heightening. I push myself up with one hand, the other scratching across my bump where my skin stretches. Dean’s woody scent touches my nose. I whip the covers back, swinging my legs over the side of the bed as quickly as I can.
My feet barely touch the ground as I scurry to the bathroom. I’m eager to see him. Desperate to make sure he’s real and not just a figment of my imagination. I push the door open marginally, the steam dispelling enough for me to see him. His back is to me, one hand against the tiled wall, the other hanging lose by his side. He looks worn out.
He doesn’t know I’m here. I steal precious moments simply admiring him. His muscled back, his toned thighs and legs. I’ve wanted to run my hands all over his body for so long, I’m almost petrified if I allow myself to move, I’ll rush enjoying him.
I want to love him in slow motion, knowing I have forever to go.
