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You could say that. “Uh, yeah, actually. He’s home.” I should have delivered that better.
Bex’s mouth widens into a giant O. “He’s what?!” She bolts up straight. “Did I hear you right?”
Eyes wide, sweat starts forming on the back of my neck. “You heard me right.”
She gawks. “Does Jess know?”
I stare back at her, hot tears now dotting my vision. I shake my head.
“Jesus Christ, Madison.”
It hits me hard, seeing her displeasure. I know she’s about to reprimand me, make me see how messed up this all is. “I know,” I say before she can start.
“What? What do you know?”
“I know what you’re going to say.” I hold my head in my hands hating that I snapped at her.
“And?” she says more calmly.
The smallest fragment of embarrassment grips me. “AndI know he shouldn’t be here, because nobody just walks out of prison two days before their trial starts, but…”
She waits. “But you’re glad he’s home.”
I nod, holding back my tears. “I am not stupid,” I manage to say, “nor blind.”
“I never said you were.”
“I know something’s going on, but I cried myself to sleep every night, Bex, willing him to walk through the door, waiting for him to call, to text, anything. He came home. That’s where I need him to stay.”
Bex, who has always been my voice of reason, sighs, dropping her head. “I get it,” she says softly. “And I know how hard the past few months have been for you. I’ve no idea how you’ve kept it together like you have.”
I swipe under my eye, trying my best to smile as she speaks.
“But Dean was arrested formurder,and now he’sout?Something is clearly not right with that.Please, just let that sink in.”
Knowing it shouldn’t, because she’s absolutely right, an irritating itch scratches a nerve, forcing me to frown. It twinges, forcing an unsettling emotion to reside in me. The hard truth she delivers, I no longer want to hear it. “Okay.” It’s honestly the best I can come up with as my defences go up.
Bex assesses me as best as she can, staring at her screen.
I stand grabbing my plate from the table, and make my way to the kitchen.
“I’ve upset you,” Bex says cautiously.
“No. I’m fine. I just have a headache, that’s all.” It’s not a total lie. It’s just not the whole truth. Annoyance is running rife.
“Okay then. Will you call me tomorrow when you feel better?”
“Maybe,” I say, recognising how harsh I suddenly sound. I don’t like it. Not with Bex.
“Okay.” Her voice is flat.
“Okay.” I’m unable to say anything more. I smile my goodbye then press the end call button.
Guilt. That’s what I immediately feel once I hit the red circle on my phone. I am a shit friend.
Me: I’m sorry x
Her reply is instant.
