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I look to him, then back at Dean. He waits. Waits formeto decide.
After earlier, I feel a little lost. Whether there’s more to know or more to come. I know in this moment what he’s trying to give me. He wants to give me peace; the life he wants. The one he more than deserves. And I want it, too.
Chapter Thirty-Five
DEAN
We arrive home the following morning, having spent the rest of our night away in frustrating bliss. Bliss because I declared I wanted to buy us somewhere to live.
Frustrating because, even on the drive back to the hotel leaving the tranquillity of the little village, over dinner, another bath together, Mads didn’t ease up on trying to find out what’s going on. I dodged giving any real answers, keeping her sated with orgasms and sleep.
Sleeping next to her is the best. Especially after we'd celebrated the new house. Our own place. A family home, one not shrouded in history and memories. Ghosts.
I met Lauren and showed her the place. I’m not ashamed to say I wanted to gauge her reaction and get her opinion on whether she thought Mads would like it first. Poor kid didn’t twig it’s for her too.
Rounding the table, I pick up my things. “I’ll be back later.” I lay a kiss on Mads’ head, feeling her tense.
“What are you doing today?”
I move to check her expression. She wants to know if I’m doing anything dangerous. Icouldtell her about Jack. About taking Travis to meet him. About how I’m going to tell the clubwhat’s going on. Or I can protect her. “I need to catch up with Travis about work,” not a total lie, “then we have church.” Again, not a total lie, but still. I’m risking my friendship with him. He’ll kill me when I tell him I want out. “Should be home around five,” I tell her.
Mads rubs her temples, a clear sign she’s overthinking. Stressing. “Right.”
I sigh dipping my front to her back, pressing my mouth to her neck. “Everything will be fine.”
She huffs, and I can guarantee she just rolled her eyes.
“What are your plans today?” I ask.
Mads pushes her chair, and I step back. Rejected. “I need to meet with Vivian, call Bex about going to see her and then I’m meeting Mollie for coffee.” She busies herself, making a cup of tea.
There are a few things there I need to unpick. “When are you seeing Bex?” If the next run with Costa gets confirmed anytime soon, I’ll need to be here. I won’t be able to travel anywhere with her. But I don’t want her away from me. Panic spikes. And Mollie? “And why are you meeting Mollie?” I add.
Mads gives me a look. The one I know means I’m asking stupid questions. “Me and Jess are going to Bex’s baby shower this weekend, and I messaged Mollie because we’re friends. She was here when you weren’t.” There’s venom in her voice. I see her instantly regret her choice of words. She bows her head. “Sorry.”
I can’t be mad. “Where are you going for coffee?”
“Town,” she says stirring the spoon, still rubbing her temple with her other hand.
I tap my cut, checking I have my phone. “What time? Maybe I can take you or pick you up.”
Tapping the spoon on the edge of the mug, Mads turns slowly, leaning back against the work surface. “Eleven,” she says, eyes honing in on mine as she takes a sip.
Did I miss something? The inside of my mouth takes abeating as I gnaw on it. Her brown eyes slice through my thoughts. Same time I’m meeting Travis. I won’t be able to take her. “I’ll meet you back here then.”
Her face creases. “Fine.”
“Why are you being so short with me?” I ask, drilling her with a frown of my own. I’m not being ridiculous here. She is definitely not happy about something.
“You know why.”
Right. We’re still on this. She wants to know. “Mads.”
Before I can say anymore, she’s walking past me out the kitchen.
I reach out grabbing her wrist, and turn her into my body. No matter the mood, her body reacts. “Listen.”
“No, you listen,” she counters.
