AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A mirror, that’s what I realise I’m looking at. Seeing my own goddamn self looking back at me. Except this reflection won’t break. There’s no shattering this hardened image. There are no physical similarities nor shared interests, except for our love of bikes. I’m talking about the deeper sense of connection piercing my skin because the kid sat opposite me is more like me than anyone I know. She knows of loss. Knows of pain. Knows how to survive.
We’re the same.
“A real family, kid. You think you’re ready for that?”
She smiles, staring fixedly, searching my expression. “If you are,” she holds out her fist, face beaming, “I am too.” And fucking hell if I don’t feel my nose crinkle and my throat burn.
Validation. Understanding. Acceptance. It all comes crashing into me, bulldozing the walls I built around me in order to survive.
I hold out my fist, returning the gesture. Grateful.
Chapter Forty-One
DEAN
My emotions are running wild like the heavy steps beneath me. My lungs burn. My muscles scream at me to slow down. But I can’t. Today marks the start of the end. The eve of the beginning. Today is the day I send a kid into hell. A hell I brought our way. I don’t want to; I’d rather feed myself to the wolves—we all would. But we can’t, and I can’t do this on my own. I fought for far too long on my own and got nowhere.
Now, I have a family. I’ll allow my demons to fuel me to the finish line, then I need to stop fighting them. I’ve remained a victim to their emotion for far too long. I need to leave them where they are. Behind me.
Last night, I saw in Lauren’s eyes the promise of hope. The promise of a family. I have to be that for her. Have to be the one to give her hope. Redemption only comes if I succeed though. This plan of ours can’t go wrong. There will be no freedom if it does. No future. No light.
Thinking of Mads, I push harder, ignoring the feeling of nausea that starts to rise. I won’t let my head beat me. Not today. There’s too much to be done.
My feet hit the ground faster, freeing my mind until I’m back at home.
Once out the shower, I give Mads a call, noticing the time as the phone starts to ring. It’s seven. No way she’s up yet. I smile around the rim of my mug as it goes to answer phone.
“Hey, beautiful.” I walk to the kitchen. “Just calling to say I hope seeing your dad went okay.” I pull out a chair, sitting down. “We’re almost there, babe. The life I promised you… I’m nearly fucking done. Then you get all of me. Every scar, every truth, you’ll know all of it, I promise you. Call me if you get a chance.”
When I hang up, I stare around the room, twirling my phone in my hand. My memories overshadow any good left in this house. My life before Mads wasn’t a rollercoaster or a journey… more like a prison. Caged. My choices weren’t always my own, but deep down I craved an impossible freedom I didn’t know how to find.
A quiet streak of contentment suddenly flows through me, making me smile. In the end, once I’d stopped looking, it found me. My road to freedom; it followed me one night, argued with me, kissed me and trusted me. There were finally eyes that saw me. Loving arms that held me. I’ll never be able to repay her for that, but loving her back the way she loves me? Like she said, that’s the easiest thing I can do.
I swipe open my phone, knowing exactly where to start.
I arrive at the clubhouse later that evening, still not having heard from Mads. We sit down at the table and run through the plan one final time. There’s some time to kill once we’re done, so I make my way downstairs, lighting a smoke as I go.
My phone rings, and I pull it out. “Hello.”
“What time’s he getting there?” Vincent hits me with his question.
“One hour.”
“Right. My men are in place. Sonny’s drafted in the extra charter you asked for.”
“We don’t want a blood bath, but if it goes that way…”
“We’re ready.”
I pinch my lips. All day I’ve tried to think of a way to make today happen that didn’t involve a nineteen-year-old acting as bait. I got nothing.
“And once it’s done. You’ll honour our agreement?” he asks.
I sneer under my breath but what choice do I have. “Yes,” I grate.
“You don’t sound too sure.”
Closing my eyes, I rub my forehead with my other hand. Calm. “You have my word.” Club voted in favour; he’ll get what he wants. Power.
