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“Madison!” I hear Jess from behind.
I keep going, feeling the pull of my heart as I round the final corner. I’m so close to him. I can feel him. Can feel my soul being pulled to its other half. Putting one foot in front of the other, I make my way through the doors, stumbling when I see Travis and some of the guys waiting. They don’t talk. None of them are looking at one another. Their heads are lowered, their bodies bloodied and bruised.
What happened?
Travis looks up, and I know I’ll never forget the look on his face. His gunmetal eyes are empty. Sunken in and bloodshot, the spark they usually carry has gone.
“Travis?”
He stands, and the guys look at him. They follow his gaze, and I look at them all in turn. Beats and Mop exchange a look of uncertainty.
The door opens behind me, and I hear Jess speaking to someone. Then it’s quiet. My eyes fill when no one speaks, the deathly silence, utterly crushing. “Where is he?”
Jess places a hand on my shoulder. “Madison,” she starts, but my gaze is trained on Travis.
He rubs his beard, his eyes flicking towards a door to my right. Rubbing the back of his neck, the door then opens. I see men and women in scrubs moving around.
A nurse makes her way to Travis as I beeline for the door, causing everyone to jump to their feet. I don’t need to hear what she’s going to say. I need to see Dean.
I let my feet carry me to one of the theatre rooms. Filled with machines, the sterile smell of the room floods my nose as my eyes land on the bed in the centre of the room.
Men and women in scrubs swarm Dean’s body. I know it’s him although he’s almost unrecognisable. Covered in blood, his eyes are taped shut. He’s laid on his side as they probe and prod athis back.
“What are you doing in here? This is for patients only,” a nurse tells me, although I pay her no notice.
He looks so helpless. Fragile. “Dean,” I sob, choking on my words.
“Miss, please, you need to leave.”
Heavy hands land on my shoulders as my heart starts to pick up speed, matching the beeps of the monitor by the side of the bed. The nurse moves as Travis takes hold of me, pulling me into his arms. “Mads, come on.”
“Keep her out of here,” the nurse tells him over the sound of my uncontrollable sobs.
“Yeah, I got it,” he snaps back, his annoyance rising.
Tears stinging like acid, the gap being forced between us rips through me. It leaves nothing but devastation and sadness in its wake as Travis sits me down next to him. All I want to do is go back in there. I need to let Dean know I’m here.
He can’t be alone.
It’s not fair.Noneof this is fair.
I try to stand but Travis puts me back in my place. “Sit down.”
“I need to do something,” I sob.
He brings me into his side like the last time we sat like this, wondering when Dean was going to come home. “We have to wait, Mads.” His arm around me tightens.
Dropping my head, I stare at my hands, twisting them as if that will somehow help hold back my inner turmoil.
Jess comes to sit the other side of me, taking one of my hands in hers. We don’t speak. Sadness and despair simply roam the waiting room. I let go of the breath I was holding, releasing a fresh wave of tears.
I can’t lose him. He has to come back to me.
I don’t know how long we waited. None of us left until the nursecame out to talk to us. We haven’t seen him yet; we only know the list of injuries the nurse trailed off. One stab wound to the right hip. One gunshot wound to his left calf and two bullets in his lung.
Her words had cut like daggers through all of us. Of course, the guys knew what he came in with—they were the ones to bring him here, but I haven’t had the strength to ask what happened. I know Travis isn’t going to tell me. So, I stay mute, saving my energy for the man who needs it most.
And I wait, no longer prepared to plead to know what caused him to be so badly hurt. I know what caused this; men fighting men. But for what? Some bullshit honour? Some lifelong grudge they haven’t allowed themselves to get over? I know I still don’t fully understand how someone could hurt another like they do, maybe I never will. But I am sure my child will not be raised in this world.
