AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I thank her and slowly drop to the seat. “How long can I stay with him?”
I don’t miss the sudden way her eyes turn down as she sighs. “As long as you can.”
Because he doesn’t have long?I turn ice cold, fear that I’m going to lose him setting in.
The nurse moves to a noticeboard near the door. “He’s allowed two visitors up here. I’ll put your name down, and who else should I add?”
Two visitors. That’s it? I remember only seeing Jack the bare minimum when he was in hospital before he… “Travis Johnson,” I tell her before I look back to Dean.
Marked with bruises and cuts, his face looks so beaten up. His chest rises and falls as the machine works, breathing for him. I don’t care how bad my heart hurts, what he's gone through must have been a thousand times worse. I suck in a breath, my head falling, the tears unstoppable. I don’t look up as the nurse checks us before she leaves.
The door clicks shut, and I bite my top lip, catching the salty wetness from my tears. Taking his hand in mine, I hold him tight, pushing my damp lips to his knuckles. They’re covered in dried blood, but I don’t care. I breathe him in, keeping myself as close as I can.
I stay like this, my head lowered to his hand until I can feel my lack of sleep catching up with me. I blink a heavy blink, pushing myself up. “I love you,” I tell him, aware he might not be able to hear me. I know he won’t say it back, but I stare at him for the longest of moments, willing him to.
“Please stay with me, Dean.” A ragged sob escapes me, leaving me feeling drained. “I don’t know how I’m supposed todo this without you.” Sniffing, I wipe under my chin, catching my tears. “You can’t leave me. I won’t say a goodbye.”
I tilt my head to the ceiling, sending up a silent prayer. “You go now,” I choke out, “you take my heart with you. You take my soul, my mind, my happiness… you take it all, because it belongs to you.” My lungs scream, my throat burns. “I don’t want to have to remember you for longer than I knew you. Do you hear me? I spent too long living a life not knowing who I was or how to find what I truly needed. Then you came along and made me yours with one touch. You had me from that first moment I looked into your eyes. Then you showed me who I am. You showed me what it is to feel alive. We’re in this together, VP. So, wherever you are, you don’t stop fighting until you come back to me. You can’t give me a life then take that away from me. I won’t let you.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
DEAN
There’s a smell of disinfectant, harsh and intense. It burns the hairs in my nose; makes my weighted eyes start to water. My eyelids feel heavy. No way I can move them. A bright white light mixed with orange streaks across my vision, glowing from the other side of my lids. It does it again, and my brain comes around a little.
Where am I?
My chest strains as I try to breathe. My throat’s dry. With each inhale I take, there’s a tightening in my lungs. It burns like an electrical current, constricting and releasing as my chest rises and falls.Fuck.I try to move my hands, try to lift my feet but my cold, heavy limbs don’t budge. Adrenaline starts to pump through my veins as panic rises. A tingling buzz slowly starts waking my dormant body.
A machine beeps.
Someone talks.
“It’s been five days, Mads. You need to get some rest.” It’s like I’m listening under water. My ears strain to hear a man talking. Five days? Is that how long I’ve been gone? “He isn’t going anywhere.”
Then I hear it. “Well neither am I.” The most beautiful sound that calms my racing heart. She’s here. But how? I saw the darkcreep over me. Saw my end.
She can’t behere.
Their voices drown out, getting deeper and deeper. Feeling as though I’m freefalling, panic that I won’t find her again sinks its teeth in. I try to hold on but it’s no use. My head turns light, my breathing constricts, and I slip, leaving her.
The next time I wake, my nostrils burn again. I hear the familiar, steady beeps to my left. This is where I found her last time. She was here. I’m back!
Squeezing my fingers, I meet resistance as I try to lift my hand.
“Dean,” I hear her say.
The beeps quicken, and I know I’ve found her. My girl.
Desperately trying to open my eyes, they still refuse to budge. I try, fuck do I try. I need to see her. Need to set my eyes on my sunshine.
There’s a shuffle of feet, and a door opens. Unlike last time I was briefly here, I’m more aware of the sounds around me. Gentle fingers then stroke my hand, and I try to squeeze the one in mine. “Can he hear me?”
Yeah babe. I hear you.
“It’s hard to say,” someone else says.
How would they know what I can and can’t do?
