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MADISON
Peeling open my eyes, I come to with Dean holding my hand in his. Less than twenty-four hours ago, it was him lying on the bed with me by his side.
His smile stretches wide when I look to him. “Hey, beautiful.” Dean stands, pressing his soft lips to mine.
His smell washes over me, and I remember where I am. “The baby?” I ask, taking a long blink as my mind wakes up. My throat hurts, and my heart accelerates like a rushing wind. “Is the baby okay?”
With steady hands, he strokes the side of my face, cupping my chin. He kisses me again. “She’sdreamy.”
He said she. “She?” A torrent of warm tears cascade over my lashes. My heart swells a million sizes. Judging by the glimmer in Dean’s eyes, I know she’s okay, wherever she is. “We have a little girl?” I shake out, laughing because he knew. From day one, he knew.
“We do. She’s so small, but she’s… everything.”
I close my eyes, thanking God she’s okay. “Can I see her?”
“Nurse said once you came round we could go. What do you remember?”
I think back. Last thing I remember is the excruciating pain. “I was on the hospital bed.”
Dean nods. “Her heart rate was slowing. They took no chances considering she’s a little early. They delivered by c-section. You had to have anaesthetic.”
I sob. I’m so happy and thankful, yet my heart feels suddenly weak. I missed the birth of our daughter.
“I made sure she was okay, but I haven’t held her yet. She’s in an incubator receiving oxygen. She’s totally fine though, babe. You did it.”
Dean’s words ease some of the worry and the helpless feeling within. “Can we go now?”
He smiles. “I’ll get the nurse.”
Once allowed, Dean wheels me steadily to the NICU ward. “Are you okay?” I ask him, because he should also be taking it easy.
His lips press to the top of my head. “My chest hurts. Not because of the holes.” He kisses my hair again. “My heart’s too full.”
I wipe the corner of my eye, sweeping away my tear.
Dean pushes me through the door and onto the ward. There’s incubation cot after incubation cot, each with large monitors and machines around them. All of the babies have parents sat around them. Except the last one. “You ready?”
I nod but I can’t speak past the dry lump clogging my throat. My baby is ten feet away from me. Colliding with the inside of my ribs, my heart drums. Thank God I’m sat down, my body’s paralysed with happiness.
My hand lifts to my mouth when I see her. My baby girl. She’s got a nappy almost the size of her back on. There’s a small tube coming out from her nose, and her feet are covered in pink socks too big for her toes. She wriggles, nuzzling the side of the encasing blankets raised high either side of her.
I don’t tear my love-struck gaze from her as a nurse steps closer to us. “She’s stable enough to hold. Would you like to?”
My misty eyes are busy admiring the full head of hair mydaughter’s grown. I nod, and Dean moves to sit in the seat beside the cot.
Carefully, the nurse lifts her—tubes and all, and I tighten the dressing gown Jess packed and dropped off for me. Bracing my arms, she’s placed in them. I sob happily, kissing her wrinkly face.
“We need a name,” Dean says dotingly, his green eyes watching us closely.
I smile, letting my tears dampen my face. With Dean away for such a long chunk of time, we haven’t had this conversation properly. “I like your mum’s name.”
Dean purses his lips, a faint shimmer in his eyes. “She’d love that.”
Another tear slips free down my face. “What about a middle name?”
Coming closer to us, Dean wraps his strong arms around us both. I’m filled with overwhelming love as he kisses the side of my head, then rests his chin on my shoulder. “I know,” he says softly. Confidently.
I turn my head to look at him, checking his gaze.
