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Her brother? Her voice has changed. From what I remember, she was soft, gentle. Yes, she was troubled, but now it’s different. It’s hard around the edges. It’s lined with something I recognise.
Survival. “Tell me where you’ve been.”
“Tell me where Jay is,” she demands once more.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She jerks her arm, trying to get free. “Let me go, then I’ll tell you where I’ve been.”
I honestly think about it for a second, but the look in her eyes suggests she’ll only run off again. “No can do. Talk.”
“No.”
Fuck’s sake. We both stare, silently assessing each other. “Why’d you look scared?”
“What?” she says shocked. “I’m not scared.”
“You looked it, when you realised it was me waiting by the gate.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I was just… surprised, that’s all.”
I can’t help but smirk at her fieriness. “You’ve toughened up in the time you’ve been hiding.”
She scowls at me, narrowing her blue eyes. “Had no choice. Never know who’s going to come after me or want me dead.”
Come after her? Dead? “Why wouldIwant that?”
Her eyes dance between mine. She’s thinking. “Because of what I did.” Her tone has flattened. Her face suddenly falls.
“You think I blame you for what happened?”
She stills. I can see the tears start to gloss her eyes.
I loosen my grip ever so slightly, but I don’t let her go.
“You don’t?”
“No, Lauren. I don’t blame you. I am fucking surprised you decided to bolt once Travis got you back to the clubhouse, but there’s no blame.” At the mention of Travis’ name, her eyes droop in the corners. She’s working hard not to cry. “Lauren?”
“Is, is he… mad?”
Shaking my head, I reply, “No, he’s not mad. Worried. Really bloody worried, but not mad. Why would you think that?”
Even though a tear escapes her eye, her face remains hardened. “Because I hurt you all.”
I sigh. She blames herself for what Alex and the Saviours had her do. “If you’re about to tell me you’ve stayed away all this time because you think we all blame you, I might actually be about to hurt a child for the first time in my life.”
One corner of her mouth twitches. Is that a smile? “I had no choice.”
My face remains straight. “We always have a choice, Lauren.”
Reading my tone, she lets loose a breath. “I didn’t,” she says flatly. “I know how things work. I know I let you all down. I tried reaching out, but Jay told me we couldn’t trust you. Not after everything. So, we ran. We hid. Made sure we stayed out the way of everyone.”
“You could have called me—or Mads. She needed you, Lauren.”
Her head drops, and her tears fully flow. Judging by her reaction, she needed Mads too. Being a hypocrite, I begin to say, “You need to talk to—”
“—I don’t need anybody!” She tugs her arm free, and I ready myself to run if she bolts. Every part of me wants to shout at her, wants to grab her, pick her up and demand she tell me where the fuck she’s been hiding.
