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The second picture wasof Zander and the woman, still hugging. This time, her hand was on his lower back. I couldn’t see his face.
My heart braced for the onslaught of pain. It didn’t come.
I heard Chastity, my nursing classmate, call me through the cafeteria doors. My senses were slightly off. I heard her but I couldn’t make out her words. She came closer to me and said, “Hey, we got to go back to the floor.”
I was still processing her words. She must have seen the warm blood flowing through my veins, leave my face. “You ok?” she asked.
Her words finally sank in. I was definitely not ok. Years of shutting down my emotions prepared me for this, I nodded at Chastity.
The rest of the afternoon went by fast. My body was on auto-pilot. I passed medications with my instructor and continued with patient care. I even managed to start an I.V. line successfully. My brain was present but my mind was not.
Finally,when my rotation was over at 6:45, I walked to my car and sat inside for a long time.
I looked over at my phone, sitting on the passenger side.
20 missed calls.
From who? I didn’t care.
I hit the “Delete All” function for all the callers. I kept the voicemails but didn’t listen to them.
I needed time to think.
Being a scientific person, I relied on the facts presented to me.
Fact # 1: Zander was in his bed clothes.
Fact # 2: Zander was hugging a woman, who was NOT me, in his bed clothes.
Fact # 3: He would not be hugging some random stranger; it looked like he knew her.
I started my car and headed towards the pier, still in my nursing uniform.
Zander
I heard the loud banging on my door at 8:30. Damn, it was too early for this.
Last night was fun, celebrating the win with my team. Coach let us stay out until 1 AM. We all went to a local bar and had a couple of beers. Everyone behaved and we all had a good time.
John came through the door; “Z, have you talked to Sedona today?” was his first question.
“Sedona?” My sleepiness was suddenly gone, “No. She’s at clinicals today. Remember, I lost my phone. I sent her an e-mail earlier. Why? Did something happen?” Chills were starting to creep up in my body.
He shook his head, “No, nothing happened to her. I think it’s best if you call her and talk to her.” He sounded serious as he handed me his phone.
On the screen were two screenshots of me in my jammies, hugging Holly. We looked pretty cozy in the photos.
Shit.
I asked John if I could use his phone. Sedona’s number and my mom’s cell numbers were the only numbers I memorized.
My call went straight to voicemail so I left a message, “Babe, call me.”
She was at her clinical rotationso she would not be answering her phone. Still, it didn’t calm my rattled nerves. I needed to talk to her.
I called again and left another message, “Babe…please, let me explain. Holly knocked on my door last night. We just had a friendly chat and she left. Nothing happened. Please call me.”
I looked over at John and asked, “Do you have Tanya’s number?”
