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“Babe,” I said, frustratingly, “I miss you.”
“We’ll talk when you get back,” she replied.
“Sedona, please,” I said again, “I miss you a lot.”
Her voice slightly broke, “Have a safe flight,” and she hung up.
All throughout the flight, I was quiet. John, my seatmate, asked if I wanted to talk. I said ‘no’ because I was so upset that I upset her. I’ve come to know that Sedona did not care for bullshit. She was a toughie. Our stilted conversation told me that she was looking at the facts and trying to leave her emotions out of it. Her defenses were up. And, when they were up, it was tough to crack. The paparazzi thing was a hurdle that we had to get past through. Brennan was another issue. Hopefully, of the past. This thing with Holly was looking pretty bad for me.
I totally overlooked the fact that Holly and the squad traveled with the team. Holly and I haven’t really talked to each other since we broke up two years ago. I saw her on the field but that was it. Last night was the first time I chatted with her. She happened to be in my floor and decided to stop by and say hi. I didn’t think much of it. Maybe, I should have. I was pretty buzzed when she knocked. She hugged me and I did the same thing. She might have wanted to come in but I told her I was tired. Plus, it would not have been decent of me to invite her in, without anyone else around. We talked about the game and she said that it was nice to talk to me again. I cut the conversation short because it was really late and I wanted to e-mail Sedona before I went to bed. If I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have even opened my door.
As soon as we landed, I asked John if I could borrow his phone again. I was going in to a cell phone store in the morning. I needed a phone to keep in touch with her. I wasn’t going to be home for another 3 days.
Sedona did not pick up. Granted, it was almost 2 in the morning when we reached our hotel.
I left her another voicemail, telling her I missed her.
Sedona
Zander kept calling and texting. He had gotten a new phone. I replied to most of his texts. Just a bunch of “Hi”, “Hello”, “Goodluck”. I told him I was really busy every time he wanted to talk.
I was really busy.
I was also sifting through my emotions.
I was upset that he didn’t tell me about Holly. I was upset that he hugged her and pictures of them were floating around. I talked about this with Nalee and Tanya. They were both rooting for Zander’s explanations. It disconcerted me that he would do something like this. When I asked Kieran what he thought, he advised me to look at it through Zander’s eyes.
His team arrived today. Their game last night at New York was a win. He was interviewed again by one of the college sportscasters. He looked pretty banged up. After all this time, I knew that I would never get used to seeing him with any type of injury. I watched the interview because Zander asked me to; I also wanted to see him. I missed him.
I could hardly concentrate in class. His flight came in at 5 in the afternoon. He texted me that he would be coming over at my place, around 8.
At 7:48, the doorbell rang.
I prepared myself to see him. As soon as I opened the door, his arms went around me. He hugged me so tightly; I had to say, “I can’t breathe.”
He slowly let go. I stayed in his arms. He smelled fresh, masculine, like he always did.
He caressed my back and whispered, “I missed you.”
Slowly, he cupped my chin to face him. Uncertainty was reflected in his eyes. He looked tired. Still sexy but tired.
We walked to my room, I was hungry but I did not need food. I needed to be close to him. Right now.
I slowly shed my clothes as we walked to my bed.
We still had to talk. I knew that. Before that, I needed to relieve my head and my body of the longing that I felt. I haven’t seen him for a week.
He must have removed his clothes in a matter of minutes. As soon as our bodies touched the bed, we were consumed with the need for each other.
The sex was slow and passionate. Savoring. It only lasted a few minutes. The need was still there. It hummed between us; it was in my thighs, in my legs, in my body. It was only satisfied for the moment.
I was spooned into his body; he was lightly peppering my neck with kisses.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” his voice was apologetic, “She was my ex. I’m just so sorry.”
I turned around to face him. My legs were wrapped in his, “Zander,” I said, “I wouldn’t be doing this with you right now if I didn’t believe you.”
His gaze pierced through me. He held my right hand close to his chest and said gravelly, “I was scared you were going to break up with me. I mean, you didn’t even want to talk to me. It was so fuckin’ hard.”
