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“You’ve been drinking.” She got down next to him, hands splayed over his chest, before leaning against him. “Something’s bothering you.”
His immediate response was a deep grunt. That was one way to put it. Like a stone, he sat with his elbows on his spread knees. Apparently, alcohol didn’t really help as much as he hoped.
“You’re all dressed up today,” Charlie commented, pulling his collar. “What did you do? I would love it if you told me.”
Her sweet voice was hard to resist. Talking about his feelings didn’t come naturally to him. The dumb horseplay he did with Nick was the closest thing to therapy he had.
“I… went to your mom’s house this afternoon,” he said.
Gasping, she straightened her back. “You what? Oh, Rick. Please don’t tell me you spoke to my mother…”
“I didn’t,” he said. “I was planning to, but when I went over, I saw… I saw her.”
The broad statement rendered Charlie confused. She frowned, whispering to herself before connecting the dots. Realization hit as her wonderfully bright eyes widened.
“You saw your mother?” she asked.
He didn’t look at her. “Yeah. She was coming out of your mom’s house. Did you know they knew each other?”
Charlie thought about it for a second. “I remembered meeting her once when I was very young. It was within a group of aunties, so I wasn’t sure if my mother knew her personally or if it was just a large gathering.”
“Unbelievable,” Rick snarled. “Spent my entire life willing for her to stay away, and she comes back at this moment. If it isn’t all just one big fucking joke.”
Charlie stilled next to him, catching his darkened tone as his anger bubbled. She wasn’t touching him anymore. He didn’t get aggressive often, so this was his threshold. The buildup was reaching its max, and he couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Sheleft, Charlie.” He whirled his head to look at the love of his life, who remained quiet but calm. “She just left! We were all confused why she was missing for so long. Her stuff was still there. She didn’t leave a fucking note or have the courtesy to even send one of her family’s servants to relay the message.”
“Oh, baby…” she murmured.
“Finally, my dad called her parents. The housekeeper picked up. Told us that our mother,his wife, decided to return home and to expect divorce papers.” His laughter was missing humor. “She stayed at the vacation home her parents owned. My dad knew where it was, so I got the address from him. When I went over there, she didn’t want to look at me, Charlie. She had nothing to say for herself. There wasnoexplanation!
“She said to me, ‘Go home, Richard. You don’t belong here with me. I won’t be a good mother to you’. I thought, did I do something wrong? Did we do something to make her angry? When I refused to leave, they actually called security to drag me out of the house.”
He spotted the glistening on Charlie’s eyes as she brought her hands over her mouth, but he couldn’t stop talking now. It was pouring like a painful gush pooling from his insides.
“I begged my dad to do something. To go after her. To make it right. Whatever he did, he should say sorry and get her back. But he just stayed quiet and shut everyone off. Two weeks later, he had a heart attack and had to be hospitalized. She was already back in Korea by then,” he said monotonously. “They wouldn’t take our phone calls. I didn’t understand. How did we suddenly become villains? I’ve never met my grandparents, but how could they be so cruel to kids? How could she be so awful to her own children? Her own husband?”
“This won’t change anything, and I’m not justifying her actions. But she probably cut all ties because it would be too hard for her to live with herself if she maintained contact,” Charlie said.
“I supposed that did her well. I didn’t see or hear from her until I was in high school. Got news of her visit through an unrelated person. Said she came with her new husband on a business trip. Of course she didn’t stop by.” Rick stood abruptly, nearly causing Charlie to fall backward. “We were on our own. My dad’s Parkinson’s only got worse. I had to pawn her fucking jewelleries to make rent! Alex and I had shifts taking care of my dad while he was out. We had disability insurance, but that barely covered half of our expenses.”
Charlie rose next to him and took his hand. He stared at the wall, panting at the surge of adrenaline of his charged up rants. Fueled further by rage, he felt the burning in his chest.
“I know when shit’s rough, people want to fuck right off. But she left us all to rot. I understood why she chose money, but she couldn’t even lend a hand,” Rick groused. “She just didn’t care. It was all conditional for her. Once shit hits the fan, then she bails. Till death do us part didn’t mean jack to her. When my dad died, she didn’t come to the funeral. He was herhusband, Charlie. Whom she had two kids with!”
The burn found its way to his head, concentrated on his sinuses. Suddenly, his eyes stung. Arms went around his waist, and the scent of Charlie’s perfume filled him with solace, but the hurt didn’t go away.
“She didn’t want us,” he concluded. “It was so easy for her to drop us and she’s been thriving since. She looked good, Charlie. Doesn’t look like her age. She ate well, slept well. And that was from leaving us. If she stayed… well, she probably would’ve been miserable.
“Why did she have to come back? Everything would’ve been just fine if she’d stayed away in her money house. Why did she try to come to me? After all these years, did she think this was the right time to finally talk to me?” he asked, still fixed on the spot. Walking forward, he didn’t notice himself pacing, socks scraping the carpet. “She had the fucking nerves to walk to me, like that waseasy to do. What did she have to say to me? Did she think I’d want to hear them?”
Charlie knew not to respond and hugged herself in her space. She didn’t look scared. Even when his voice dipped so low he was damn close to sounding like a snarling animal.
“We weren’t worth anything to her when she left. She could’ve just walked away to her goddamn chauffeur and left like she was so good at. Why did she try to come up to me? Why was she giving me any attention when I am nothing to her?” His eye sockets grew sore, but instead of moisture, it was only hot steam. He’d made it a talent to shove the tears back because nothing was worth that energy. The memory of when he last cried drew a blank.
“You’re not nothing,” Charlie protested, coming up to him and clutched him tight. “I won’t justify her actions, but it’s not because you’re nothing to her. People have their selfish moments. Hers was just reckless beyond forgiveness, but Rick, you still survived despite the setbacks. I bet you’re a better version of yourself than if she stayed.”
How many times had he heard those exact words? From his dad, Alex, his friends, even the social worker who worked their case. But somehow, their words of reassurance never seemed to lessen the blow.
