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“Shipped off to where?” I wondered out loud, a sense of unease pooling in my belly, warring with the relaxed feeling the bourbon had given me.
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” Ryker retorted. “And there’s more . . . The king is conscripting healers and young women, but no one knows where they are taking them.” He shook his head, took another swig, and then offered me the bottle, the rich, caramel-colored liquid sloshing around inside.
I raised my hand, gesturing I didn’t want anymore. “I wonder where the king is sending them.”
“I plan to find out,” Ryker answered with that incredible determination of his—something I admired.
“I’ll help,” I said with a nod. I turned towards him, tucking one foot underneath me. “How did you become a guard?”
Ryker smirked, the expression boasting of male confidence. “It wasn’t that hard. Since the king has been hiring new guards, all it took was a few forged papers and I was in. There are a few more rebels here as well, also working as guards.”
Just then, something small scurried across the expanse of my mind—a shadow mouse. It was the first time I had felt him sincethatday.
Soren.
Time had not made his intrusion into my mind any less jarring, and yet, I needed the betrayer.
Soren?I asked inside my mind.I need to talk to you.
He gave no response. Of course, he didn’t. The coward.
“What’s that look about?” Ryker asked, noting the sudden shift in my mood.
I glanced down, not sure where to begin. I exhaled a deep breath. “Do you know . . . about Soren?”
“I do.” Ryker’s grip tightened on the bottle. “I searched for him up until the day I saw that redheaded prick bringing you into the castle. Soren was following behind, no chains, no collar.It became pretty clear whose freedom he had traded for his own. I could have snapped his neck right there, but I knew I wouldn’t be any help to you then. So I did the only thing I could think of—I started working towards getting placed as your guard.”
I felt an ounce of relief that Ryker already knew. I didn’t really feel like living throughthatwhole ordeal again, nor having to explain just how badly Soren had betrayed me—that cut was deep enough and talking about it right now would feel a bit like pouring salt into a wound. My brows pinched. “That day in the courtyard gardens, that was you, wasn’t it? All this time, why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because the boy-turned-guard is always with me. He’s young and eager to please and wants to move up the ranks. If he found out we were connected, he’d turn me in. It was another risk I couldn’t take. I was going to slip you a note, but then today happened and it provided the perfect opportunity. I convinced him to let you wander around inside, knowing you’d take your sweet time. After a while, I told him I was just coming in to check on you and for him to wait outside.” Ryker smiled softly. “Luckily, the young pup listens well.”
That made sense. If Ryker had revealed who he was, or even so much as spoken to me, I would have caught on right away and I don’t know how I would have reacted in the moment—I wasn’t exactly known for my poker face. “It’s probably a good thing you waited until now.”
“Mhm,” he rumbled. “So, are you going to tell me why you’re still playing palace princess?”
Realizing I was going to need another drink for this, I snagged the bottle and took a long, heady sip, feeling its smooth bite all the way down. I returned the bottle to him. “First, I have to ask, do you know what Von really is? . . .WhatI am?”
He gave a soft nod. “When I was a young boy, Von looked the same as he does now—that sort of tipped me off that he wasn’tjustCursed, but it took a few years of prodding before I got confirmation out of him.” His gaze met mine. “I knowwhoyou are, as well.”
I sat with that for a moment, unsure how to feel about it.
Then, I said, “I’m guessing that means that Harper and the others know as well.”
“They do—well, everyone but Soren. Von asked us not to tell him. He never quite trusted him, and looking back now, I can see why that was. Although now that Soren has access to your thoughts, I imagine he knows who you truly are.” Ryker’s expression twisted painfully as if an old wound were being cut open. He took another swig.
I knew full well that the topic of Soren and what he did to me when he broke the unconscious mind barrier was hard for Ryker—especially after everything that had transpired with the woman he had once loved.
I let Ryker sit with his thoughts for a moment before picking up our prior conversation. “You asked me a question—why am I still at the castle?”
“I did.” He nodded. “So . . . why are you?”
“That’s a loaded one,” I said as I took a deep breath. Then I began.
I told him everything—everything that had happened after Kaleb’s death, from the moment Von and I left for Meristone, leading up until right now.
When I told him about my vow to kill the king, just like Kaleb, he made me promise to let him help me, which I agreed to. I told him that Kaleb was alive—well, sort of—and a reaper now. When I opened that festering wound back up and told him exactly what had happened with Soren, Ryker’s knuckles turned bone white.
But when I got to Von and Arkyn’s deal, when I had to tell Ryker that Von was stuck in a comatose state and unable to wake up, well, it was not easy for either of us.
