AllFreeNovel
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I look down, regret sinking in at my choice of a cream bodycon dress. Earlier tonight, standing in front of my closet, I flipped through hanger after hanger and came across this dress.
I bought it in early Spring with plans to wear it to a fun girls’ night out this summer. It was my way of forcing myself to take a weekend off and enjoy life instead of racing through from dawn until dusk. The calendar now reads August, and the tags dangling from a thin plastic loop taunted me. It was a now-or-never decision to wear it.
“I need another shot to handle this shit show,” says Meg as she stands up, the rhinestones on the pockets of her jeans catching the lights as she strides to the bar.
“So, Lainey,” Jenna says, leaning forward in her chair to prop her elbows on the table, “do you see any wannabe cowboys in here?”
I lean into her view to block her perusing gaze around the bar. “Don’t get any ideas,Owens. I’m here for you, Meg, and the bull. I’m not here to meet some icky stranger and have a one-night stand.”
“We could probably find you someone who isn’ticky,” she says with a sassy grin. “Come on.” She reaches over to grasp my forearm and shakes me. “You haven’t gotten laid since you moved here.”
I nod as I tilt back my beer and finish it off. “Believe me when I say my vagina is very aware of that fact.” It’s been longer than my move to Chicago if we’re being honest. I avert my gaze to the bar and see Meg leaning over, giving the bartender a glimpse of her perfect cleavage, most likely in exchange for free shots. I’mso jealous of Meg’s tits. She’s somehow curvy in all the right places and trim in all the right places.
And me?
I’m a board. A flat, paneled board with hips.
I turn back to the table only to see that Jenna hasn’t budged.
“Lainey,” she starts again, “I want to see you happy.”
“Iamhappy.”
She tils her head to the side. “You’re happy, sure. You’re happy with work and your amazing, gorgeous best friends. I’ve seen you grow so much over these last few years. Remember one of the first times we came here? The crowd was half the size it is tonight, and you had a full-on panic attack when someone bumped into you.”
I cringe at her words. Not my finest moment when trying to make friends. Instead of the awkward sympathy looks I expected after that, Jenna and Meg instead sat on each side of me, giving fuck-off looks to anyone that dared to stare in my direction while I sat with my head between my knees.
“I’ve grown a lot since then.”
“And I love seeing it, but after what you went through, I want you more than happy. I want to see you ridiculouslyconsumedby love.”
I laugh in her face. Much louder than intended, but she doesn’t flinch. I was consumed by love once. Maybe not love, but by a boy and a relationship. I let him consume me so much that I became a shell of the confident, happy woman I was raised to be. It consumed me so much I had the bruises to show for it once I finally ran.
I’m not sure I believe in love anymore, not the kind she knows. What Jenna and her husband have is something they write best-selling romance novels about. Her husband, Emmett, is a man who would go to the ends of the earth if it meant she’d smile.
Compared to that, my dating history rivals a subpar episode ofAmerica’s Most Wanted. I highly doubt there is anyone out there who fancies the idea of shacking up with someone who is half of the person they once were.
“I get where you’re coming from, I do. But if the day comes when I do decide to date again, I don’t think the first place I should look is a dingy country bar that boasts the cheapest beer in town and cash prize bull riding competitions.”
Jenna’s face splits into a wide grin. “I think that isexactlythe type of place you look to find your next one-night stand.”
Meg comes back with three tequila shots, setting them down with a splash and tossing a few limes on the table in front of us. “Oh! Did Lainey find someone?”
“Tequila, Meg? Really?” Jenna says, averting the conversation. “Tomorrow is Saturday, which means it’s mom-and-me gymnastics day. Imagine spending your Saturday morning in a gymnasium of squealing four-year-olds. Now add a tequila headache.”
“Sounds like a Jenna problem.” Meg deadpans. “But don’t be a bitch, because these were free, courtesy ofthe girls,” she says, shimmying her boobs for effect.
“Alright, alright, alright.” The DJ’s voice booms over the crowd. “I’d like everyone to put their hands together and give a big round of applause for the next team to brave a ride onDiesel. Let’s welcome Megan, Lainey, and Jenna, otherwise known as The Dream Team.”
We both turn to look at Jenna with cocked heads.
“What?” she says, unable to hide her excitement. “They asked if we had a team name, what better one to choose?”
She goes to stand but Meg reaches to grab her arm, stilling her. “Shots first.” She lifts a glass and hands it to me. “Drink up, bitches. I think we’ll need it.”
I bring the warm glass to my lips, nostrils immediately flaring at the stench. With a quick exhale I throw my head back only managing to choke down half of the shot before shoving the glass in Meg’s direction. She takes it from me, finishing off the rest without a grimace as the familiar, icky drink burns my throat.
She slams both glasses down on the rickety wooden table, reaching for my hand to pull us towards the area when I pause, the tiny hairs on my arms standing tall. A full flush crosses my skin, and I press the back of my hand to my cheeks to cool them. Cheap liquor usually has some sort of dizzying effect on me, but this is different. This is a fire, coursing through my veins, threatening to turn me to ashes from the inside out.
