AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He smiles, pushing from the wall and taking a step toward me. “I stayed after work and talked with the vascular surgeon about Elda’s case. She had a significant cardiac history. We took the proper precautions prior, but sometimes that’s not enough. The pharmacy was in there reviewing new medications with her about twenty minutes before the CNA went in and found her.
“It was one of those freaky things. Maybe she had a clot, maybe the change in blood flow was too much and caused cardiac issues. Maybe the aftereffects of anesthesia affected her. The type of surgery she had carries a high risk of stroke, and there are a lot of possibilities floating around about what led to her death. Butno onewas responsible, and we couldn’t preventit. If we had discharged her earlier in the day, it probably would have happened in the car on the ride home.”
His last sentence makes me cringe. “Yikes. I should be happy that it wasn’t anything I caused. It sucks getting attached to someone only to lose them.”
After the words leave my mouth, I realize they take on more meaning than with Elda. I think back to Ryan’s words in his truckwhen he said there’s something between us. He’s right, that’s obvious. But fear of getting attached, of letting ourselves be vulnerable only to have that person ripped away keeps us both at bay.
We stare at each other for a minute, not saying a word, until the air around us changes.
He looks down at me, the shadows from my small apartment hiding one side of his face. “Are you gonna be alright?”
I stand from my chair, wanting to bridge this gap between us. Wanting more than a pleasant goodbye. “Yes, thanks … again.”
His eyes find my lips, and he leans in, only to place a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. “Goodnight,” he whispers before turning away from me.
I let him get a few feet down the hall before I call out after him. “Why did you come here?”
He freezes, his back still facing me, shoulders drawn tight with tension. He turns his head to the side to answer, “I told you already.”
I push away from my bar stool and pad a few feet closer to him, my bare feet creaking on the wooden floor with each tentative step. “You could have called … or texted.”
“Yeah, I could have.” He releases a shaky exhale and slowly spins to face me.
“But you wanted to see me.”
A ghost of a smile appears. “I wanted to see you.”
I stop walking once we are chest to chest and his arms surround me, pulling me in until our foreheads touch. He lowers his head, not to my mouth, but to the skin peeking out from my oversized tee. Soft lips graze over my collarbone as he starts there, placing slow, gentle kisses in a path to my neck. His chest hits mine with every breath and my entire body heats, muscles becoming languid the closer he gets to my mouth.
“Ryan,” I say, almost whining, pleading, needing more than this gentle side of him.
“I won’t be able to sleep tonight until I know you’re okay,” he whispers.
He doesn’t need to say another word. I’m already pressing my lips against his, my hands gripping the hem of his sweatshirt to pull him to me.
His arms coil around my waist as he pulls my body into his. He keeps me in his grasp while we kiss, and I’m lost in his scent, his breaths, his moans. Every minuscule movement sends shivers down my spine as his hands travel to rest on the top of my butt, squeezing me hard as he lifts me in one swift motion.
My legs wrap tightly around him, fusing myself to his waist as he stumbles back towards the kitchen to set me on the island. Each kiss, each nip of his teeth leaves me aching for more, even as he grinds his hips into me.
His hands caress the tops of my thighs, working their way up my hips, trembling as he slides one warm palm under my shirt, fingertips grazing the bottom of my breast. I release a pained moan, the contact between us suddenly too much and not nearly enough all at the same time. He pulls back, panting, but keeps his forehead pressed against mine, his thumb still grazing back and forth under my shirt.
“I swear this isn’t why I came over tonight.” He looks down at me, anxious eyes waiting either for my consent or for me to flipout and tell him to leave. I tilt my chin up, letting my eyes roam over his face, taking in every handsome physical feature.
This man has only shown me kindness and support, even before we knew each other. Whispers at work have named him quiet … moody … not friendly, but they don’t know it’s all a false bravado. A security blanket for the deep hurt that I’m not sureherealizes he carries. But I know him. He cares. I believe when he says he wouldn’t have slept tonight until he knew I was okay. I know in my mind how I feel, and even though I’m terrified of getting hurt, the want I feel deep in my gut overpowers any fear.
Without releasing the hold my legs have around his waist, I lean back, grabbing the hem of my shirt and lifting it over my head, only to discard it somewhere on the floor behind him. He sucks in a breath, and I watch as his hungry eyes hover over my chest, greedily taking in every inch of bare skin available to him.
“I warned you they were small,” I mutter quietly as I try to cover my chest with my arms. He forces my hands away and smashes his mouth into mine, lifting me again and carrying me over to the couch, not breaking the kiss, sitting down with me straddling his lap.
“You told me they were small. You didn’t say they were perfect.” He plants gentle kisses along my jaw and down my neck, grazing my collarbone with his lips as his hands find their way under the band of my little shorts, fingertips gripping the curve of my bare skin. His touch is lightning through my body, and I feel the shockwaves flow from the tips of my fingers to my core with every movement.
My ability to resist him is waning. Over the last two years, I’ve conditioned myself to be resistant to everything and avoid any situation that may lead to exactly where I am now so that no one will ever be able to hurt me again. Iwanthim, I know I do. But I don’t know if I’m ready for the next step. If I can handle being intimate with someone at that level.
“Where’d you go?” His voice pulls me from my anxious thoughts.
“What do you mean?”
A rumbly laugh rises from his chest as his arms curl around me protectively. “Your mind is somewhere else. Come back to me.”
