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I blink rapidly, trying to focus on the here and now. Yeah, this is real, and it’s not going away because I want it to. Stanley, Robbie, Eric—all lost in a sick game played by those who never face the consequences.
Except now, there are consequences. Ben said it.
My other hand trembles as I smooth my hair back, tucking a stray strand behind my ear.
“You good?” Alistair murmurs, pulling me close and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“Yeah,” I croak. “I’m here.” It’s all I have to give because ‘good’ is not going to be my state of mind for a while. But I can do ‘here’.
Ben’s voice slices through the tension. “We’ve been hearing things about this lot for weeks now.”
I feel like that is information for my ears and that everyone else already knows.
“Rumours mostly,” Charlie adds, arms folded across his chest now that Alistair has taken me from him. “But I guess now there’s truth to them.”
“They’re more than just whispers in dark corners,” Alistair concludes, his blue gaze locking on mine. He doesn’t blink, and it feels like he’s trying to peel back every layer of my soul.
“Right.” My response comes out hoarse but determined. I force myself to hold Alistair’s stare so as not to get lost in the memories of blood and betrayal. I need to be present in this moment, not drowning in the past.
“We find out their purpose, their numbers, how far their influence reaches,” Damien says, his light grey eyes intense under the stark lighting.
“And what their fucking objective is,” Alistair growls, a contrast to his gentle hold on me.
“Could be nothing,” Charlie suggests with a shrug, though his hazel eyes betray his concern. “Or it could be our biggest threat yet.”
“Either way, we deal with it,” Alistair states, a frosty edge to his voice.
“Does this happen often?” I blurt out into the silence that follows Alistair’s declaration.
“Factions?” Damien asks, finally looking at me. “All the fucking time.”
“Oh.”
“But we handle it and move on.”
“Handle it...” I repeat softly to myself, feeling the weight of those words. I get the feeling that dealing with, and handling problems means something violent, something permanent, in their dictionary.
Whatever this faction is, whatever darkness it brings, I’m standing in the eye of the storm with the Cardinals, and I can’t afford to be the weak link. The words slip from me, resolute and clear. “Then let’s deal with it.”
5
BENEDICT
“Ineed a minute.”
The second Ever steps out of the study, my gut twists like I’ve been punched. I can’t stand the space growing between us, this chasm that’s more than just the physical distance stretching out. She moves with that grace she doesn’t even know she owns, her blonde waves a silent siren call. I’m on my feet and after her before I can talk myself out of it.
“Watch your step,” Alistair murmurs, but I ignore him. Ever is the only thing on my mind.
“Ever,” I say, almost too low, but she stops. It’s like she senses the urgency I’m barely keeping caged inside me.
She turns, her gorgeous eyes catching mine. Maybe she thought she could slip away, ghost through this old English manor without anyone noticing. But I notice. Always her.
“Ben?” Her voice is a whisper of uncertainty, a thread pulling at me. “Look, I’ll be back to talk strategy or whatever the fuck you do with factions. But I need a minute. Please?”
“I know, but can we talk, please? Somewhere private?”
I don’t wait for her answer because I can’t. Not with the way my hands are itching to reach out, to make sure she’s real andnot just some dream I’ll wake up from. I grab her hand, her skin soft against mine, and the contact sends a jolt straight through me.
