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“But not poop,” Jay added, winking at me.He leaned over and started cleaning up our pump equipment and water bottles, saying nothing more.
“Got it!”Octavius and Devon raced off, running around the field, goofing off in a way that made me think they weren’t diligently looking for anything.But I wasn’t sure I had the energy to argue.
All I wanted to do was flirt with my cute co-counselor and figure out what was going on with me.Was that too much to ask?Devon and Octavius high-fived, then tried to engage the other kids, but no one wanted to touch either boy’s hand.I didn’t blame them.
“No amount of hand sanitizer can make me give that kid a high five,” Jay murmured.“You could bathe him in it and I wouldn’t be satisfied.”
I snickered, feeling the strange urge to reach out and squeeze his hand.I didn’t know if our conversation was still weighing on him, but I couldn’t bring it up around the kids.Besides, I wasn’t sure if we were at a hand-holding kind of place, or if Jay would even be into that.Probably not.Before I could ask, Jay picked up the full water bottles and wandered off, distributing them to their owners.
Sighing, I packed up the rest of my gear and started helping kids strap their massive backpacking packs onto their backs.With the weight of the huge packs on them, most kids looked a little off balance, but it only took them a few minutes to get used to the packs.Well, at least until we’d hiked for a bit — then the complaining would begin.
As we circled the campers around and asked them to take one last look around the campsite for any trash left behind, I moved to stand beside Jay, letting my shoulder bump into his.“You sure you’re okay?”I asked.
“I’m fine.Stop asking me that,” he hissed.
“Why wouldn’t Jay be okay?Did fighting off the bear give him PTSD?”Beckett asked, turning around so fast that his massive backpack almost knocked him over.
Jay’s cheeks flamed red, and he took a slow, deep breath.“I’m fine, Beckett, thank you.”Then he turned, glaring at me.“Do you want to be the front of the train, or bring up the rear?”
Shit.Bring up the rear?I looked around the group of campers, which was dispersing, wandering over to the trail.Was that a gay sex term?I really needed to research gay sex if I was going to be trying it or whatever I was doing here.What a weird thing to bring up in front of the kids, though.Usually, Jay wasn’t so indiscrete.
I looked off into the distance for a moment.Raunchy images of spending an evening naked in bed with Jay raced through my mind.What would I do alone in a big bed with him, his lithe body against mine?I thought about whether I’d want him inside me.“Both maybe?I had a girlfriend once who did this thing with her finger…”
“You can’t be both.Either you lead the hike, or follow along and catch the stragglers,” Jay snapped, and wow, I’d misread that situation.“You know what?Why don’t I lead?You can stay in the back and daydream about this girlfriend.”He turned around and stormed off.
“Smooth,” Beckett said.Where had that little guy come from?
“What did I say?”I asked, then blinked at the kid.“Did I just ask a 12-year-old for romantic advice?”I realized my mistake as soon as the word ‘romantic’ was out of my mouth.Because it wasn’t a romance, we were just getting each other off.And I wasn’t even bi.Not that I should correct myself in front of this kid.
Beckett shoved his hands in his pockets and smirked.“Well, your romance skills are at about a 12-year-old level,” he said.
“Oh, fuck off,” I muttered before I could stop myself.“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”He shook his head, laughing and turning to walk down the hill, catching up with his friends and leaving me alone with my questions.But I didn’t need a middle schooler’s advice right now.What I needed was some good, old-fashioned porn.
Which wasn’t about to happen, because Camp Eagle Ridge didn’t have a good cellular signal anywhere.I wondered if I could drive into town on my night off and sit in my car watching gay porn.Or maybe I’d talk to Parker.What was a gay best friend good for if not to tell me how to fuck another man properly?
Cursing the ridiculousness of my life, I hauled my pack onto my shoulders and took one last look at the beautiful campsite.I came here nearly every summer, but it was forever changed, forever associated with this new journey of self-discovery.I’d never be able to sleep a night here again without thinking about Jay and the bear and these unexpected new urges.
And that wouldn’t be a bad thing at all, I thought, smiling as I followed the long line of campers down the hill toward Camp Eagle Ridge.
As I walked, I wondered what other things Jay might be interested in trying.He was a virgin, and with this, I supposed I was too, at least when it came to man-on-man action.So we’d be exploring things together, which sounded like fun, really.Anal seemed like an obvious one to try.I’d never been with a woman who had let me inside her ass, so I had no experience with it.And I was embarrassingly uncertain about how anal sex worked with two guys.Did they take turns?Was one guy solely the receiver while the other guy always did the penetration?
Chewing my bottom lip, I imagined being alone and naked with Jay, free to explore each other’s bodies in any way we liked, and that held a certain appeal.Maybe I’d allow him inside me, let him see if he could find that spot that my ex used to find, the one that made me beg.The thought of having Jay inside me was a very distracting one.
I wondered if he’d fill me with his cum, then let me flip him over and fuck him until I’d had my fill.I watched him in the front of the line of guys, joking with the kids about something to do with superheroes.He was just so goddamn cute.
And shit, he was definitely turning the wrong way.
Cute, but no sense of direction.
ten
Jay
Iwasaterriblecamp counselor, but no one had gotten eaten by a bear, so that was a win.Wasn’t it?And I was now only a semi-virgin.Partial virgin?
I wasn’t sure what percentage of one’s virginity remained after a blow job.Was it different for the giver than for the receiver?I shook my head, deciding I was probably being ridiculous, but also made a note to Google that whenever I had cell service.
At least my first real sexual experience had been with an insanely hot guy.Someone way out of my league.Though, did that set up impossible expectations for the future?I glanced toward Aiden, who was tossing his backpack aside and ripping off his shirt.
