AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You love me.”I turned, angling my face toward his lips, seeking a kiss and, groaning as I finally tasted him again.How could I miss putting my lips on a person this much?I pulled back, staring at him.“Why do I keep doing this?Why do you let me?”
He chuckled softly, sneaking one more kiss.“Well, like I said, you’re going to need to work on your communication skills.”
“You shouldn’t bother with me,” I insisted.“I’m damaged goods.You’re too good for me.”
“Aiden.I get why you’re insecure about our relationship, but I like you as you are.”He kissed the tip of my nose.“Except for the aforementioned communication thing.”
“Oh.”
“It’s okay to freak out.It’s okay if you panic.Just talk to me.We’ll get through it together.I know you have anxiety.”
“I never told you that,” I muttered.Honestly, I’d never told anyone that.I just pushed it down and masked it and pretended it wasn’t there.
“This is all happening so quickly.It’s been, what?Seven weeks?But that doesn’t mean I don’t know you.It doesn’t mean I don’t see you.”
Slowly, I slipped a hand around his waist and pulled him close.Then I took a deep breath, holding on to him.“From the outside, everyone thinks I have this great life.Almost no one sees how much my parents suck.And how much I fear turning into them.”
“So don’t turn into them,” Jay said.
“You make it sound simple, but I worry it isn’t.I worry that my family will corrupt you and change you, too.Money does weird stuff to people.”
Jay snorted.“I don’t think I’m about to become a self-obsessed asshole who leaves our kids behind while I live my jet-setter life.”
I blinked.“Our kids.”I didn’t want to say anything, but I liked the sound of that.A cute little mini Jay running around our cute little yard.
He laughed.“I’m in this for the long haul, like it or not.And yes, maybe it won’t work out.But you never know, do you?Maybe it will.”
I was quiet for a moment, staring out at the water, still holding his hand.“My mom was a refugee.She came to the US with nothing when she was a young kid.Everyone tells me that back then she was beautiful, but she was also humble and kind.”
Jay’s eyes widened.“Your mom?I barely know her, and that’s difficult to imagine.”
“She met my dad at a Phish concert,” I said, and Jay snorted a laugh.
“What was your dad doing there?Breaking up everyone’s fun?”
“Apparently that was his short-lived rebellion.But she was following the band, living her life to the fullest.What if my family ruined her?What if she was a normal person, and then, when she was exposed all this well, it fucked her up?”
“One — you don’t know what happened.Two — why would you assume that’s what would happen to me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, stop being an asshole and have some faith.I don’t give a shit about your family or money.I love you.”
I smiled down at our joined hands, at the way his fingers wrapped perfectly around mine, and I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand.“Intellectually, I get it, I do.But I keep having this anxiety about the way it’s going to fuck up your life.”
“The only one who’s fucking up my life right now is you.”Shit, he wasn’t pulling any punches.“So if you’ll just get over yourself and be my boyfriend, we’ll be back on track.”
“Why would you love me, then?If I fuck up your life?”I asked.Jay just shrugged, leaning his head on my shoulder.
“Because I do.Because you’re you.You’re this incredible person, despite the secret ball of anxious weirdness you keep inside.Or maybe that part makes you even better — it makes you human.And you’re confident, fun, and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
“How many boyfriends have you had, again?”
“Only two before you.But I know you’re different.We connect on this deep, mind-blowing level, and it’s hard to imagine having that with somebody else.And the sex is fantastic.”
“But I keep freaking out and messing things up.Doesn’t that piss you off?”
“Everybody has faults, Aiden.Yours aren’t terrible, especially if you’re ready to work on them.And you’re going to work on them, right?For me?”The confidence in his voice dropped away at that last question, and I saw the vulnerability he was hiding from me, and my heart broke.I hauled him into my lap, wrapping him up tight, shoving his hood down and burying my face against his neck, breathing in the fresh laundry scent of his snuggly hoodie.
