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“Yeah, it was good,” she said, letting go of the door. “I had a good, long Zoom call with my friends from back home, and I spent some time shopping around for a guitar.”
“You’re going to buy one for real?”
“Why not?” She stepped over to the bar side to watch me push the barrel into place. “I’ve always wanted to, and I finally have the time and the inclination.”
“It’s just that most people who play instruments stop playing after high school.”
“Well, I never had the chance to back then.” Her eyes grew hard for a second, and then she shook her head. “Besides, how can you say ‘most people’? Most people you know, maybe. Isn’t there a stereotype of the thirty-year-old guy clinging to his dream of being a rock star?”
“So that’s going to be you in four years?”
She shrugged innocently. “And then the fifty-year-old guys buying a fancy guitar as they go through a midlife crisis.”
“Is that a thing? Why would they want to do that?”
“Same reason they’d spend their life savings on a Ferrari. They think it’s going to impress younger women.”
“Ah, sothat’swhat you’re trying to do.”
“It couldn’t hurt.” She gazed at me steadily.
I shook off the heat that was starting to rise within my body. As I scurried outside, I told myself to chill out. Tara may have been obsessed with me, or maybe already in love, but she didn’t stand a chance. I didn’t swing that way, and even if I did, I’d sworn off dating! I’d managed a solid month without it so far, but I still had eleven more to go. It may as well have been forever.
Then again… was that really accurate? I hadn’t sworn off dating, precisely. I’d sworn off men. That was the exact phrasing I used when I told everyone. If I wanted to try something with a woman, I wouldn’t be breaking my vow. It was a bit of a sneaky loophole.
Not that I was going to do it! I rolled the second barrel onto the dolly and pushed it toward the door, shaking my head at myself. I still wasn’t into women, full stop. I mean, okay, Tara had a certain charm about her. I could appreciate her confidence and charisma. That didn’t mean I wanted todoanything with her. At least, not more than maybe a little kissing. And I might be up for some fondling. Just a tiny bit. Definitely nothing below the waist.
As I headed back inside, her smile caught me off-guard as she swung the door open for me again. “Thanks,” I muttered.
“Anything for m’lady.” She pretended to tip a fedora.
My skin tingled, and I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Something had to be wrong with me for her simple gesture to have me feeling this way. From a guy, that would’ve been downright cheesy.
Maybe my vow had screwed me up somehow. The lack of attention from guys was making me want to turn to girls instead. Obviously these thoughts were just happening out of desperation and not out of any actual desire for Tara. If I went out and had a one-night stand, I’d feel like myself again.
But no, that wasn’t an option. Not unless I wanted my friends to lord it over me until the end of time. I’d have to deal with this some other way.
“So, um…” I tried to turn the conversation back toward something neutral. “What do you want to do once you get good at guitar? Do you want to start a band, or something?”
“That’s jumping the gun a little. Let me learn to play the basic chords first.” She laughed. “I’d love to be in a band, though.”
“Live fast, die young?”
“Sure, and it’d also make me popular with the ladies.”
I could feel her eyes on me. After clanking the barrel into place, I stood up and flipped my ponytail over my shoulder. “That’s really all you think about, huh?”
“I’m just joking around.” She went serious. “I’d love to be in a band, but I’m going to have to see how far I can get with a secondhand guitar and some YouTube videos. I don’t plan on becoming a rock star anytime soon.”
“What did you want to be as a kid?”
Her eyes went unfocused. “I just wanted to…” She pursed her lips and blinked, then looked at me straight again. “Astronaut. Just like every other kid.”
She was lying, but why? I pretended like I hadn’t noticed it. “You could still do that. It’d only take, what, ten years of rigorous work?”
“Or I can chill out all day, reading books and occasionally helping customers. It’s a hard choice to make.”
I played along. “How will you ever decide?”
