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It’s just that, since Dad passed and the one fling I had with Zayne almost two years ago, I haven’t wanted… anything physical. Or emotional. Or anything other than forgetting. And now I find myself out of shape, out of habit.
I don’t know why I want to cry. I don’t cry. Don’t know why I’d like a pair of arms around me, why I keep thinking…
Wait.Someone is watching me. I don’t know what alerts me to that fact. Could be a movement out of the corner of my eye. A subtle hint of sweet male scent winding around me.
I lift my head and sure enough, a man is leaning against the doorjamb of one of the rooms.
Casey.
“You’re still up,” I say, for lack of anything better, staring at him. I can’t help it, he’s so gorgeous, even more now, eyes hooded, arms folded over his chest, dressed in a loose black T-shirt and what looks like red pajama bottoms with… Elder Scrolls chibis?
Makes sense, since he’s a gamer, I guess.
And he’s barefoot. Why does that hit me like a punch to the chest? Didn’t know I had a thing for men padding barefoot about the house, dressed in loose pajamas with Elder Scrolls chibis. Didn’t know I needed such a man in my life.
Or maybe it’s just with Casey I feel that way.
Maybe I’m still not sober.
“Are you okay?” he asks, still lounging there, watching me, just as I’m watching him. Like a cat who wandered into the room and is waiting to see what you’ll do with him.
No,I want to say,I’m not okay. Haven’t been in a while, but no-one can know.
“I’m fine.” I glance at my shoes, one at each end of the hall. The thumps of their impact when I threw them were probably what got him out of his room, to see what the ruckus was. “Just a girls’ night out. Don’t worry, it’s not a common occurrence.”
And probably won’t happen again any time soon.
“I wasn’t worried,” he says softly. “It’s your apartment, after all. I’m lucky you let me stay.”
“Don’t say that.” I go to pick up my pumps, shivering as the cold of the floor starts seeping through my black stockings. When I straighten, I see he’s picked up the other one. “I’m glad you stayed.”
He smiles, then, and it’s a slow brightening, like a sunrise. He holds out the pump to me.
And it reminds me of the beta I met at the bar.
I shake my head, shake myself out of the memory.
“What are you doing up so late?” I take the pump and clutch both to my chest. “I mean… never mind. I’m going to bed.”
“I was working on a book cover,” he says. He’s standing very close to me now and that faint scent of his is so good I have to take a deep breath, draw it in. He’s a bit taller than me. Wider at the shoulders, obviously. The cut of his jaw, of his body, it’s so male, despite the delicate slenderness of an omega. It makes my mouth go dry.
“Book cover, huh? Something racy?”
I don’t know why I say that. No filter? No brain activity?
But he only chuckles. “It’s a paranormal steamy romance, yeah. A series, actually. CalledPandemonium Academy Royals. About a girl who gets a pack of various supernatural guys, or so I gathered. But the cover has to be kind of tame. Otherwise, it could get banned.”
“Didn’t know that could happen,” I whisper. “Can books get banned over something like that?”
He’s taken a step closer. God, he’s so close I can see the shadows cast by his lashes on his cheeks. Like lace. I can see the faint stubble on his jaw. I want to run my fingers over it, see how rough it feels.
“Oh yeah, selling books is a pain in the ass, or so I’m told.” He tilts his head to the side. “I’m having some trouble deciding what image to use. Wanna see? Help me choose?”
“Sure.”
I’m not thinking straight. I don’t realize I’m about to step into his room, now filled with his things, his personal touch. His scent is everywhere.
And yet here I am, my shoes still dangling from my fingers, looking around as he sits at the small desk that came with the room furnishings. He’s spread a Mexican weave blanket over the bed, full of bright colors, and has printed pictures from Skyrim and Fortnite on the walls. A printer sits beside the desk. Running shoes are stashed by the bed and I can see folded T-shirts through the half-open door of his small closet.
