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“Shelby, is everything all right?” Jake asked, his eyes darting between Shelby and me. “Your dad is waiting for the ice.” He spoke to her in an authoritative tone, as if she were a child.
I rolled my hands into fists.
“Oh, um…” She stared at him and struggled to find her words. I didn’t like how he’d made her uncomfortable.
“Here you go, honey.” Debra handed Shelby the ice bin from the freezer.
“Thanks, Mom.” She left the kitchen, with Jake following closely behind her.
“Holy shit! Did you see the look in his eyes? He’s pissed.” Olivia crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head with attitude. “Are you still leaving?”
“No,” I grunted.
No way in hell I’d go anywhere, not until I knew Shelby was okay. She might have destroyed me, ripped my heart out of my chest, but I would always protect her.
I braced my hands on the counter and schooled my emotions so I didn’t explode. It seemed we still had a strong connection. No surprise. We were soul mates.
All it had taken was holding her in my arms and my heart started beating again. Years apart hadn’t changed how much I loved her, but it seemed she’d moved on.
I’d tried many times to find someone else, but I couldn’t stop wanting and loving her. She’d begged me to let her go the last time we made love, and I’d promised I would…
A few tears escaped the corners of her eyes, and my breathing hitched. I hated to see her sad, so I buried my face in the curve of her neck to avoid what I knew was about to happen. I needed to stay strong and keep my emotions in check.
“Cade,” she choked out my name.
“Don’t do this,” I whispered against her soft skin.
“Look at me.”
“No.”
“Please.” Her voice cracked. “Please, Cade.”
I lifted my head despite myself.
She blinked rapidly, lips pressed in a hard line as if trying to hold back sobbing. She cupped my face and kissed me with a hunger that made my chest unbearably tight.
I followed her lead. This was her moment and though I hated what I knew in my gut was coming, I held onto the tiniest bit of hope I had left.
She pulled back. “We can’t keep doing this. Four years of back and forth, me flying to Burntwood and you coming to SoCal. It isn’t normal. I need more...”
More with someone who wouldn’t be me.
“How can you say that after everything we’ve been to each other, like you don’t love me? Because I have loved you my whole fucking life.”
“Of course I love you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be in your bed right now.”
“You could be in my bed every night.” Why the fuck had I stated the obvious? She knew where I wanted her but she’d kept trying to push me away. God, I was a moron.
“But I live in California and you don’t want to move there. I love everything about the West Coast. Don’t act like this is the first time you’re hearing any of this!”
“Dammit, Shelby!” I lost control and instantly regretted it. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled.”
“Why are you apologizing? If you’re angry, be fucking angry. If you’re sad, then be sad. Cry if you need to.” She stared into my eyes, the gateway to my dying soul. “You don’t have to hide your emotions from me.”
I tried to pull out of her, but she grabbed my shoulders to stop me.
Panic flashed in her eyes. “Please don’t. Not yet.” She wrapped her legs around my hips to keep me in place. “It kills me to hurt you. It’s selfish and heartless, and I’m so sorry.”
