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This was what she wanted. She’d made me promise to let her go, and that was exactly what I would do.
“I’m just so sorry.” She bent over to pick up her bags and turned toward the terminal. She took one step and stopped. Her body trembled, and I sensed she was close to unraveling.
“Shelby,” I called to her, voice full of emotion, but still strong and controlled.
She whirled around.
I nodded and opened my arms, giving her the all clear.
Instantly, she dropped her bags and ran into my embrace. I lifted her off the ground, hugging her so tightly I was sure she couldn’t breathe just like me—yet a sob found its way out of her.
I’d heard Shelby cry many times, held her through emotional girl issues, but this time gutted me. It literally felt like she was digging my heart out of my chest with a dull spoon.
She held onto me for dear life, buried her face in the crook of my neck and drenched it in her salty tears.
I refused to believe she wanted to end things and never see me again.
Would she be able to forget what it felt like to be wrapped in my protective arms, kissed and made love to by me? How in the fuck was any of this okay with her?
“You’ll be okay. Saying good-bye is always hard,” I told her as I set her on her feet. I hated myself for comforting her this way, but I knew if I tried to make her stay, she’d resent me later. What did they say about letting someone go if you love them? Fuck if I knew. If Shelby was really mine, she’d come back on her own. I needed to trust that one day she’d come back to me.
“It’s so hard.” She sniffled, bobbing her head. “Just tell me you won’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Honeybee.”
“Thank you, Cade.” She lifted her chin and our gazes locked. For a long beat of my withering heart, and with people around us, we stayed frozen in time.
I’d always remember this day, how the sky was blue and the temperature was thick with humidity. How beautiful she was even with a blotchy face and wet, swollen, chocolate-brown eyes.
“Take care, and safe travels.” I issued her a wink, figuring I’d have to take the lead again to help her along.
She inhaled a shuddering breath, picked up her bags, and walked into the terminal. She didn’t dare look back, and I didn’t dare leave until I was confident she wouldn’t run out.
As the seconds ticked by, reality set in. Shelby Smithfield had found the courage to walk out of my life. I prayed to God it wouldn’t be forever.
“Cade, is everything okay?” A hand touched my elbow.
I jolted out of my reverie, and felt like I had just said good-bye to Shelby all over again.
Why in the fuck had I come to dinner? Long ago, she had wanted a life that wouldn’t include me, and like a goddamn idiot, I’d come hoping to win her back.Idiot!
“Liv is right. It’s best if I leave,” I told everyone at the table. It was safe to say they were worried about me, the concern etching deep grooves in their foreheads. But I was a grown ass man and would be okay.
“You will be at the party though?” Debra teared up and smiled weakly. “It would mean a lot to Miles and I if you were there.”
“But we’ll understand if you can’t.” Miles gave me a short nod as he reached for Debra’s hand. He and I had had plenty of talks about Shelby and me over the years. He knew I hadn’t gotten over her, would never get over her. I respected the hell out of him for giving me permission to decline.
My folks watched me with critical, expectant stares. They need not worry. I’d be at the anniversary party, and I’d stay fifty feet away from Shelby and her man. If anyone needed me, they could find me at the bar, becoming good friends with the bartender so they’d keep a steady flow of whiskey in my cup.
“I’ll be there,” I muttered as I placed my Stetson on my head and touched the front. “Goodnight, y’all.” And with that, I left the Smithfields’ home.
I went straight to my cabin, even though I wanted nothing more than to head to the closest bar, drink myself stupid, and find a warm pussy for the night. If nothing else, my blue balls would be relieved.
But I didn’t want to feel good. I wanted to lament my sucky life and have a pity party for one.
So when I entered my humble abode, I grabbed a bottle of Cuervo Gold I’d put in the back of my liquor cabinet, removed the cap, and swallowed at least three shots all at once.
Normally, I didn’t drink tequila, but tonight, I needed to taste Shelby’s favorite alcohol just to feel close to her. When I had flown out to visit her in California, we’d do shots and get naughty in her dorm room. Those were some of the best days…
