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“Not sure.”
“Okay,” he says slowly, a small frown creeping over his forehead.
There is no easy and slow way to get into this. I suck in a breath. Breathe in, breathe out.
“I’m pregnant.”
His eyes go wide. “What?” His voice is an incredulous crack. “Are you kidding me?”
His arms drop and then shoot up to wrap around me, picking me up and swinging me around. My breath is crushed out of my chest as he spins.
“You’re serious?” He’s loud now, right in my ear.
It’s all I can do to hang on and nod my head where it’s pressed to the prickle of his chin.
He puts me down then grabs my face in a frenzy and kisses my eyelashes, my cheeks, my mouth.
“Oh my God!” He spins away from me, raking his hands through his hair before bending over double like he can’t breathe, and I stretch out my hand. Maybe I misinterpreted his early reaction, and he’s shocked in a bad way rather than a good one.
“Fabian?” I say, my voice a strange wobble.
He turns back to look up at me with the widest grin, and all the tension seeps out of my body. My lips curve up.
He straightens again and takes my hands, looking at my fingers as if he’s counting them, as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. He seems almost dazed.
“I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. Jesus Christ. You’re sure?”
I nod. “The test sticks aren’t often wrong, but we should get a test at a hospital to check.” I hesitate for a second. “You seem really pleased?” The words spin out as a rough croak, and his face changes when I say this—some emotion I don’t recognize tracking across his features.
“Fuck yeah!” he hoots, spinning away laughing with a crazy cackle, hands running through his hair. “I can’t fucking believe this. Goddamn! I’m going to be a dad!” He shouts the last bit up at the cracked ceiling over our heads.
Then he turns to look at me and steps back taking my face in my hands, frowning. “Areyoupleased? I mean, it’s really bad timing for you, isn’t it?” His face creases in concern. “Shit. I didn’t think about that.” He chews his cheek. But I almost don’t care what he says now because with this whole reaction there’s no question that he wants me, wants this child, like our commitment to each other is a given. It’s not a question of if we’d ever do this, but when.
“I almost don’t want to talk about the problems now,” I mumble. “It seems wrong.”
He nods like he understands. “Yeah, I just want to experience the thrill of it. Are you happy?” His face has lapsed into worry, and I smile at him. I want to go back to his earlier, more honest, reaction.
“I think? I’m worried about everything. I was worried about what you’d think.”
His eyebrows rise at me. “God, why? I can’t think of anything better than being a dad.” He grins a heart-stopping smile at me.
“But we’re so new and …”
“Yeah, but we know, right?” He gestures between us. “There’s no one else for me, Kate. You’re it.”
I feel a lump start in the back of my throat, and I think he sees my eyes start to become glassy because he pulls me into a tight hug.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll do all the childcare. You can finish your residency and everything you need to do. We’ll make it work.”
My God, that offer came so fast. He’s just instantly taking care of it all, taking care of me. And he’s completely misinterpreting my tears, and it just makes me cry more. Taking my face in his hands, he wipes the tears away with his thumbs.
“What?”
I shake my head at him. “It’s not that. It’syou.”
“Me?”
“What you just said.”
