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She was about as clueless about this stuff as he was, but she didn’t care. On a prayer that she not embarrass herself—yes, she realized the irony that she was praying to a God she was taking from and betraying—she prayed Colin wouldn’t be disgusted by her brazenness. She took his hand from her hip and slid it to the front of her panties.
He stilled and Sam feared she had ruined everything.
She shut her eyes unable to see his rejection and worried she was seconds away from tears. Why did she do that? He only wanted to kiss her. He stood and she slowly sat up, guilt weighing her down, still too chicken to face him in her embarrassment.
The door clicked and she crumbled inside. He left her.
The sudden caress of his fingers upon her cheek shocked her.
Her eyes flew open and she looked at him.
“I just wanted to lock the door, Samantha. Do not be ashamed of what you did. You’re beautiful.”
Like a cat, she pressed her cheek to his palm and sighed in relief. He reached for her hand and helped her stand. Reaching down he pulled back his covers and waved her to get into the bed.
Sam had no idea what was happening or about to, but she did exactly as he asked.
He slowly moved toward the other side of the bed and paused by the bathroom door.
“Is your bedroom door locked, Sammy?”
“Yes.”
He nodded and continued to his side of the bed. Pulling the covers back he slid in beside her and pulled her close. They each lay on their sides, knees to knees, nose to nose. Simply gazing at one another for the longest time, occasionally kissing, but nothing more.
The quiet consent was mutual. They explored each other with soft touches and gentle glances. There was no excuse for her allowing him to touch her other than the tidal wave of desire she seemed to be drowning in every time she felt his caress or stared into his blue-green eyes.
His hand eventually worked its way to her breasts. He held her there, yet still seemed to be following some code of restraint. His knuckle coasted over the stiff tips of her nipples, but nothing further. His control made her want him all the more. She was balancing on a sharp blade of sensitivity, where every tiny movement of his had her sucking in a breath or aching for some sort of release. It was divine torture.
If not for her panties, her thighs would have been damp. Colin was completely erect, yet seemed not at all concerned about that.
“You’re so incredibly beautiful, Samantha,” he whispered.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. It’s such a natural beauty. It’s as if it comes from hidden deep inside, safe, so that no one can mimic it. I’ve thought about you since the moment I first saw you.”
She smiled, the heat from her blush making her skin even warmer. His thumb dragged across her lower lip as his fingers slowly ran through her hair.
“I’ve never been this close to a woman before. I never wanted to be, but with you…with you I only seem to want. I want to make you laugh. I want to talk with you, touch you, smell you, and taste you.”
“What happens tomorrow, Colin? This can’t change anything. You are who you are and I’m not meant to be a part of that.”
His eyes shut as if he could hide from the reality he was fighting so hard to keep at bay. “I wish I could tell you this changes things, but it doesn’t. I already belong to God. It’s what I’ve always wanted, planned on. My vocation defines me and without it I’m lost.”
For some reason, rather than rationalize the whole thing or beg for what she craved, what she needed most in that moment was to comfort him and take away the confusion in his eyes. “It’s okay, Colin. I know who you are and I respect you for it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t apologize. I want to be here with you even if it’s just for tonight. I’ve thought about you too. You seem to be all I can think about anymore.”
He kissed her then, soft and slow. It wasn’t long before they were each breathing heavily and holding onto each other as if they could somehow make this moment last. He never removed her clothing and barely touched below her shoulders.
As he rolled her to her back and fit himself on top of her, their legs tangled and glided over each other in all the right places. They fell into a rhythm and his erection nudged her sex through the cotton of her panties. They each tipped their heads back and moaned.
“You feel so good, Samantha. I could kiss you like this for days.”
He nudged himself into the cradle of her sex again and something coiled deep inside of her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and pressed her body into his. It wasn’t long before they were each highly sensitized and grinding against one another as if they could somehow break through all the physical and mental barriers that separated them.
